A Guideline for the Mental IRR Soldier

I'll start by stating that this is informal, and by no means is to be taken seriously...okay, yeah right. Here's one prime example of how one soldier was able to prove just how mentally unacceptable he was for this man's Army.


First of all, know yourself- what it takes for you to snap, what signs you notice when you do, and how you control them personally. Make a note of all the control measures you use in life to keep yourself on track, as you will need all these to be taken seriously, especially if you're aiming for medical discharges instead of the padded room or the jail.

Second, make yourself snap, or at least act like it. people who understand themselves enough know what it takes, and how they act when they do. I've studied myself enough to know exactly what I go through, and can reproduce that state of mind rather effectively, without going completely bonkers.

Third, pick the most crazy control measure you have, and get caught doing it. Okay, not that crazy a control measure, but something that will get attention, and not get anyone hurt--yet. If it alludes to violence without actually committing it, all the better. Suicidal and/or homicidal intentions sweeten the pot.

After being confronted by it, stay in your "snapped" mode. I don't care if someone takes you to the side and offers to screw your brains out if you lighten up, don't drop your guard. Okay, if that's another control measure, go ahead and do it. But get right back to square one afterwards.

Don't have a sense of humor, unless it reflects the state of mind you're in at the time. I (surprisingly) didn't laugh at about fifty Plus perverted jokes, many of them good, because I wasn't trying to. But let someone talk about how their dog got ran over by a Mack truck, and I was laughing and asking what kind of noise it made. Yeah, it's creepy.

Nervousness may reflect that someone thinks they're getting caught doing something bad, but if you're keeping yourself from doing something you "don't want to do", nervousness can be an indicator for that as well. Yes, every chair I sat in, I treated like a rocking chair, clutching my writing tablet, even when a First Sergeant passed. No, they usually tried not to bother me.

Silent treatment isn't an option in the service, but soft-spokenness is usually a bad sign, especially for a mental case. As is the inability to understand orders, the occasional mix-up of orders, and the lack of personal motivation.

When (if you manage) you get to have an appointment with the psychiatrist, search deep down in you for the absolute craziest, most criminal thing you never got caught doing, throw it at him/her, and tell how you felt about it. Score yourself extra points if you actually enjoyed it at the time. I recollected when I wrote my Stalker poem while in Korea, and then wondered if I could really do it. So I followed some girl some five or six blocks down some dark alley, and then went on about my business. I also admitted to it being a rush, which scored a nice facial expression. Sure, no one was hurt, but I had just confessed to taking my fantasies and trying to make them a reality. I also didn't "realize" that I had stalked, well, until the psychiatrist made it a point to tell me that I did in fact stalk someone.

Lastly, even when/if you get a recommendation to get released, keep your quirks. I swear, I got worse after the psych eval, because now I "knew" there was something wrong with me. So, up till the last day, there are gonna be little instances of regression, confusion, and a lot of other beautiful things that make me me.

On another note: the way you treat people around you will ultimately determine your overall treatment/success. by nature I'm a good person, and I made sure that was known--even to the people that I had freaked out. If they bought me something one day, I'd make it a point to buy them something the next. Craziness should only go so far--when it comes down to the people, keep your wits to you. Don't burn your bridges; you may need them to start the process, or keep the process going.


I've been called many things while on my little "vacation" in Active Duty. Some have called me a lunatic, others called me a faker, and even fewer called me a genius. Compared me to the soldier back in the day that rode his "imaginary motorcycle" everywhere he went. Truly an honor to be put with a group like that, that can bend his sanity to his will, and maintain it, to influence the decisions of others. I truly must have come a long way from trying to find myself.

This is more of a guideline for people that studied themselves and their problems enough to do whatever they want to do, who want to aim for that elusive medical discharge that is sought out so much. I still advise that a truly sane person doesn't attempt this, as I'm sure background info will be searched, and some type of proof will eventually be obtained. Have some craziness on your side to back it up.