toast [to never] whenever that may be

By Six-Out

'to tears.to life.to die'



we're hopeless. and I can't dance when my feet won't move.
and it feels like I'm bolted to the ground.
without wings to be torn. I was a failure from the start.

when living seems to become cliche.
and everyone is screaming at me- hope. just hope.
I want to break their words with my silence.
and in hindsight it seems.
I'm a little more than lost. wandering.
maybe I should set up camp.

just face this fucking emptiness.
all I ever wanted was to walk without crutches.
and write myself an afterlife.
and it seems I can't do anything right.


cheers.
toast to broken backs and nights in cold beds.
no more voices whispering in my ear.
that it's ok. it's all ok.
because it's never ok.
and it's too easy to see through the lies.
it's far too easy fall.
when you're walking on ice.
watching your dreams underneath your feet.
afraid to stomp. you've killed them.

and I'd rather dream than stop breathing.
but the two seem to go hand in hand. on days like this.
asphyxiation. choke these beliefs.
because hope is just another four letter word.
and futile seems more fitting.


my head is pounding.. and I want to break my hands.
maybe they'll stop making these words hurt so much.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2005 Six-Out
Published on Monday, November 7, 2005.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "toast [to never] whenever that may be"

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  • A former member wrote: Cheers! indeed.... what a toast this is... remorseful... a drink of the last sorrow.... and all I wanted to do was "write myself an afterlife" what an intellectually beautiful line... and it is far from alone.... well wrought, wordsman.

  • PoeticHellion On Wednesday, May 10, 2006, PoeticHellion (192)By person wrote:

    You are the only person that can make the word "fucking" sound so beautiful.

  • Dei On Tuesday, November 29, 2005, Dei (704)By person wrote:

    this was very open, raw and honest thank you for posting it

  • Lynaes On Thursday, November 24, 2005, Lynaes (877)By person wrote:

    If you broke your hands, I would lose your words. And that would sincerely be a deeply horrible loss.. much love.

  • PoeticHellion On Wednesday, May 10, 2006, PoeticHellion (192)By person wrote:

    I agree with you.

  • A former member wrote: I haven't been around long enough to get to know you but I love your writing. You are obviously well loved by so many. I understand what its like to think its all pointless. I hope you find some happiness in something someday. ~Lost~

  • Philla On Wednesday, November 9, 2005, Philla (96)By person wrote:

    God... so beautiful as always. I could simply die in your words. So amazing... -*Philla*-

  • SilentStalker On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...can't say I've been down that road; can't say I'd want to go down it either...I'm not worried about someone the likes of you, though; you're stronger than most of the populace here, even at your weakest, I'm willing to bet... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...I may be wrong, but your actions since I've seen you haven't ever told me otherwise... Scholar

  • SilentStalker On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...but life's not over until people start talking about you in the past tense...at least that's my opinion on it, though mine probably doesn't mean a damn thing... Scholar

  • Spiritus_Frumenti On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, Spiritus_Frumenti (343)By person wrote:

    outstanding piece...even if this is not a goodbye poem, this is surely a great way to leave...there was a sense of closure which will never really shut...an infinite wonder is found here...amazing...-l-

  • Solace On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, Solace (1081)By person wrote:

    Hope - why hope for something? Do it - procrastination is just another 15 letter word and where your going is your decision...Cheers man, I'd prefer to drink in the light of the day than in the depth of sorrows...

  • A former member wrote: Not sure what to say man, read and greatly appreciated just know that.

  • sIo On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, sIo (896)By person wrote:

    everyone loves you now jon.

  • Six-Out On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, Six-Out (1481)By person wrote:

    Even though this wasn't meant as a goodbye poem, or to get any love.

  • sIo On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, sIo (896)By person wrote:

    and my comment was meant to prove a point.

  • TaintedButterfly On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, TaintedButterfly (675)By person wrote:

    your journey! Just look for them where you least expect them to be... ;) Watch for butterflies! Hugs to you!

  • TaintedButterfly On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, TaintedButterfly (675)By person wrote:

    I believe writing is probably just one of your reasons! Hoping is human nature, but only YOU can change your hopes into reality. Good luck and I know I do not know you, but I've been down the road your own, and guess what? The signs really do help you on

  • TaintedButterfly On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, TaintedButterfly (675)By person wrote:

    Did you ever think doing things wrong, per your words, were actually right? We do everything for a reason, everything happens for a reason. It's when we stop and think of what those reasons are that we learn from them. That is an awesome poem, and I belie

  • A former member wrote: its only been a few hours since we last spoke.. and i miss you already. every word that stumbles from your lips that my ears aren't worthy enough to hear.. but i listen still and hope for that beauty to embrace me .

  • A former member wrote: - grasp my hand and lead me somewhere wonderful.. with or without hope but theres still you and thats all that matters. you're perfect, no matter what you say.

  • A former member wrote: don't stay too far away from my heart, jon. reel me in when you need me. i love you

  • Adam On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, Adam (250)By person wrote:

    just look at your favs. and you will see how many people care about you... and those are just the ones that could put it into words Scholar

  • vaultgrl On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, vaultgrl (186)By person wrote:

    ....there are truely no words worthy enough to comment on this......i sit, stunned by your beautifully painful words, wish there was some way for me to help you.....to let you know we're all here for you, and show you how much we care.......but you'll hav

  • vaultgrl On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, vaultgrl (186)By person wrote:

    .....but you'll have to discover that on your own.....we'll miss you.....we'll cry for you.....and we'll wish you the best.......

  • A former member wrote: well, all you'll get is serious and concerned comments. and it seems serious or even surreal wont even make a difference, so hcsw and red mice, japlet. i love you

  • cre On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, cre (427)By person wrote:

    Mm. I don't deal well with the people who end up leaving, abandonment I guess. I still hear you, though. I won't tell you it's ok because I know it isn't. Life blows, in general. You sound like someone who wants to hope so badly, but already knows how poi

  • cre On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, cre (427)By person wrote:

    pointless hoping is. I hate to see you go because you were one of those people I always knew where to find; sort of a constant in my life, and there aren't many of those. You are a brilliant writer and a good friend. You found a true home in my heart, and

  • cre On Tuesday, November 8, 2005, cre (427)By person wrote:

    that's a rare thing, really. So, do what you must I guess, but know I'll never forgive you completely if you end up disappearing from my life forever.

  • A former member wrote: last couplet is ringing divine and pen.pained . .. youve [obviously] such a way with imagery and even moreso with minds and hearts. .. eloquent and endless.... ~ness

  • manywalks On Monday, November 7, 2005, manywalks (772)By person wrote:

    I'll comment when my throat opens up; truly superb. ~ wen

  • Elegant Kiss On Monday, November 7, 2005, Elegant Kiss (212)By person wrote:

    .. I've re read this at least 8 times. And I sit here.. all i can think is 'if you need to leave a comment, leave one.'.. But my words scatter like roaches when placed in this small box below your light..

  • Elegant Kiss On Monday, November 7, 2005, Elegant Kiss (212)By person wrote:

    a light that is currently dim.. but still blinding as the blue sun that we cherish. I want to gather you up and hold you. I want to tell you things like i still believe them myself.

  • Elegant Kiss On Monday, November 7, 2005, Elegant Kiss (212)By person wrote:

    .."I can't dance when my feet won't move.".. I'm grasping for magic words.. to help.. Forgive me.

  • Mahakala On Monday, November 7, 2005, Mahakala (209)By person wrote:

    I'm going to go and cry now Jon.....but I will be thinking about you...and I miss you and the convo's we use to have Kiersten

  • A former member wrote: You're immortal, Jon.

  • A former member wrote: ..I'm not going to attempt to relate to these words and taint them with a shallow sort of empathy, they're yours alone. I love you and respect you to no end..know that.

  • A former member wrote: .."watching your dreams underneath your feet. afraid to stomp. you've killed them. and I'd rather dream than stop breathing." ..I'm here, and I know you know it.


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