the death of a dream

12:05 am - Tuesday now
talking to random people on the internet
starting to get tired - should lay down now

12:58 - eyes closed
been welcoming sleep for 30 minutes
without sleep i think too much
---think of nothingness

1:36 - bad thoughts are here
bad times - loneliness - divorce
cant stop thinking
cant stop to sleep

2:10 - sitting up
staring at shadows
fighting the urge to take drugs
-but so tired

2:32 - back on the computer
reading poems without really reading them
-too tired for things to sink in

2:49 - still reading
-not remembering a word
thinking nothing now but trying to understand
what im reading

3:19 - back in bed
eyes closed - thoughts are back

3:33 - cough medicine
the prescription kind with codein

3:52 - feeling weird
happy thoughts making me cry

4:00 - in bed once again
thoughts slowing down

4:09 - asleep
--silence
--peace

4:18 - dreams
happiness - love - life
life should be this way for everyone

5:00 - dreaming still
-knowing im asleep
------loving it

5:44 - feel awakening coming
-worst feeling ever
----knowing your perfect dream is about to end

5:55 - eyes open - watering
just experienced
the death of a dream
now im back in
my nightmare in reality



---------insomnia