anorexic self-version: starved kisses

finger strumstrut
strumpet
in trumpeted robes


i am unbeautiful
in the most delicate ways:
hover not so close
to me
and these cellophane wings


(i'm only pretending i can fly)



crystalline bones
shatter
melodiously


such is the reason
i strike out
against you--

not for the pain
but the sounds that echo
as you break




bitter nothings
so foolishly alligned
to the sympathy
in your smile
and smothering embrace

(like wet feathers
or malignant vines

how you choke!)



suffocation
of some previously silent voice




i am starving myself
because i want to feel
that pain
as a gnawing, relentless form

i want to carry it within me:

company for the dark nights
to make the loneliness
feel less alone






i'm proving nothing
to no one
but myself