I Just Wanna Muff Dive Baby

By SilentStalker

Well, you know I'm getting anxious cause it's getting kinda late
And I know you aren't ready--that you really want to wait
But I wouldn't be that greedy; I don't really need to screw
I just want to give a little something special just to you.

I just wanna muff dive, baby, yeah, I wanna lick it clean
I wanna taste the inner juices of your vaginal cuisine

I don't want to sixty-nine it; nah, I think I have to pass
One girl ruined all that for me when she had a bit of gas

I just wanna muff dive, baby, yeah, I wanna give you yours
I wanna tantalize your g-spot till you pass out on the floor

Now, I know I say I love you, hell, I tell you every day
But I want to show it to you in a not-so-subtle way

I just wanna muff dive, baby; girl, your flavor's on my brain
When I get done with you, lady, you'd be crazy to complain
I just wanna muff dive, baby, yeah, I wanna make you scream
Make you have hallucinations--like you slipped into a dream

That is all I really want now; you don't have to do a thing
We can save that stuff for later--it can wait until the ring
You can tell me how you liked it; hey, I'll even stay and chat
But you need not give me any; hell, I got my hands for that...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 Darun Ferguson
Published on Saturday, August 6, 2005.     Filed under: "Lyrics"
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Comments on "I Just Wanna Muff Dive Baby"

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  • Aengri Somnia On Sunday, September 28, 2014, Aengri Somnia (24)By person wrote:

    this whole thing made me smile... kinda imagined it set to grunge. reminds me of a song we did back in my high school days... Yearbook. "Every now and then I stay up late, looking at your picture while i masturbate". kudo's dude for finding the funny in function, and perhaps heightening the connection with the poem's intense structuring... which btw doesnt with its strict rhythm make it tedious, the subject matter alleviating such tension. Oh and i defy anyone who wasnt, after reading this, randomly bursting out in melody: "I just wanna muff dive baby, YEAHHHH!" dum damdum dum dum damdum, YEAH!!!

  • Star On Sunday, December 23, 2012, Star (1185)By person wrote:

    this sir, is defiantly awesome at its core. i defiantly saw you rapping this to all the girls in the stands.. :D

  • Nehema On Sunday, December 23, 2012, Nehema (1257)By person wrote:

    Well deserving of an award, I never get tired of reading this...lol - XXOO Scholar

  • PoetessDarkly On Saturday, December 22, 2012, PoetessDarkly (1005)By person wrote:

    awesome write, got me all stirred up. I guess I'm going to have to attack my husband......hehehe

  • Devilish On Saturday, July 28, 2012, Devilish (3758)By person wrote:

    Hell yeah.. lol fucking stalker.. Scholar

  • ladyofsorrow On Thursday, March 15, 2012, ladyofsorrow (31)By person wrote:

    Well said my friend. Good job.

  • dwells On Thursday, March 1, 2012, dwells (5703)By person wrote:

    I read this before I joined up and reckoned that this could be my future home. Not sure if it was poem of the day or I checked your profile. Anyway it was re-assuring to think that some of my more controversial pieces wouldn't be rejected out of hand. Still chuckling 7 months later - wasn't sure it was you until just now. Kudos sarge, from the chair force.

  • Grey Lies On Friday, January 7, 2011, Grey Lies (192)By person wrote:

    hahahahahahaha!! i lost my appetite for rice. thank you!

  • Dreaming in Stanzas On Tuesday, May 25, 2010, Dreaming in Stanzas (331)By person wrote:

    Yummy! i love it!

  • HeadpatSlut On Tuesday, May 18, 2010, HeadpatSlut (307)By person wrote:

    HA-ha, fuck yeah Stalker, dive into that muff! Scholar

  • A former member wrote: very nice :) Scholar

  • lost angel On Tuesday, August 11, 2009, lost angel (21)By person wrote:

    i can't stop laughing...

  • denver nitze On Tuesday, March 18, 2008, denver nitze (257)By person wrote:

    sing on. freaking rad. your rhythm is fantastic. *dives in* ~t�~

  • Vexed On Thursday, May 24, 2007, Vexed (75)By person wrote:

    hmm... interesting... think I got a bit of deja vu happening here... lol... nonetheless, I like this work, definitely good rhythm to it...

  • SilentStalker On Thursday, May 24, 2007, SilentStalker (1091)By person wrote:

    ...well, if I said the same thing twice, I'd probably have a deja vu moment too... ;) Scholar

  • Cantara On Sunday, April 26, 2015, Cantara (910)By person wrote:

    LMFAOFFFF!!!! ↑↑ O GOD

  • A former member wrote: really awesome poem.... kind of inspires me...

  • A former member wrote: AMAZING!

  • Aunty Depressant On Tuesday, March 6, 2007, Aunty Depressant (436)By person wrote:

    Eh, eat me ;P This was sweet, *wonders...could we find a way to integrate this genetic disposition into the masses?

  • carlosjackal On Friday, March 2, 2007, carlosjackal (2576)By person wrote:

    *wipes away tear* I feel so proud to have read the work of someone who feels the same as I do about eating out. Making a girl's raspberry swirl is truly a great talent - Carl

  • Sin On Friday, March 2, 2007, Sin (1179)By person wrote:

    lmao...raspberry swirl

  • Lynaes On Wednesday, February 14, 2007, Lynaes (877)By person wrote:

    how the HELL did I miss this?? "vaginal cuisine" haha.. pure genius. I'm purely rocking your title too. Nice one Darun. :D

  • A former member wrote: Crude and demented but, hilariously written. I must give you major props. I about shit a brick laughing at this.

  • jack paper On Wednesday, January 24, 2007, jack paper (126)By person wrote:

    omg.. this was just what i needed.. very funny, most entertaining...

  • CharlottesWeb On Sunday, November 26, 2006, CharlottesWeb (521)By person wrote:

    The minute I read the word lady...with the content being what it is...CHEF from southpark popped up in my head. hehe...I loved this.

  • Lotophagi On Monday, October 2, 2006, Lotophagi (341)By person wrote:

    haha, this rocks my socks...... I remember a few years ago some mates of mine came up with a club - the muff divers association..... reminded me very much of the 'meeting discussion'... brilliant. Thank you.

  • A former member wrote: got my mind in the gutter and your words in my brain. it also makes me crack up:)

  • Vexed On Sunday, May 28, 2006, Vexed (75)By person wrote:

    hmmm, interesting... ....

  • Vicious Pixie On Thursday, May 4, 2006, Vicious Pixie (62)By person wrote:

    this rocked....i can't believe i haven't read this before, it was great :)

  • A former member wrote: too friggin good

  • Chimauron On Thursday, March 30, 2006, Chimauron (89)By person wrote:

    Awesome :D

  • elisa On Thursday, March 23, 2006, elisa (1637)By person wrote:

    i never get tired of this....... ever consider writing a detailed 'How To...' guide...? ....then record it as an audio book in your best Barry White voice;)

  • Angst Queen On Thursday, March 23, 2006, Angst Queen (372)By person wrote:

    ::coughs:: Well, that is some funny shit. Nice, Darun

  • Kinkypoptart On Sunday, March 5, 2006, Kinkypoptart (578)By person wrote:

    Your writes always make me laugh... damn, you're a genius. ~*~Tart~*~

  • Army Barbie On Friday, February 24, 2006, Army Barbie (324)By person wrote:

    And why am I just now reading this? Cause it's fuckin hilarious. I. Loved. It. Thanks babe

  • A former member wrote: Lolz.That was funny.I love it!

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