I Just Wanna Muff Dive Baby

By SilentStalker

Well, you know I'm getting anxious cause it's getting kinda late
And I know you aren't ready--that you really want to wait
But I wouldn't be that greedy; I don't really need to screw
I just want to give a little something special just to you.

I just wanna muff dive, baby, yeah, I wanna lick it clean
I wanna taste the inner juices of your vaginal cuisine

I don't want to sixty-nine it; nah, I think I have to pass
One girl ruined all that for me when she had a bit of gas

I just wanna muff dive, baby, yeah, I wanna give you yours
I wanna tantalize your g-spot till you pass out on the floor

Now, I know I say I love you, hell, I tell you every day
But I want to show it to you in a not-so-subtle way

I just wanna muff dive, baby; girl, your flavor's on my brain
When I get done with you, lady, you'd be crazy to complain
I just wanna muff dive, baby, yeah, I wanna make you scream
Make you have hallucinations--like you slipped into a dream

That is all I really want now; you don't have to do a thing
We can save that stuff for later--it can wait until the ring
You can tell me how you liked it; hey, I'll even stay and chat
But you need not give me any; hell, I got my hands for that...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Saturday, August 6, 2005. Filed under: "Lyrics"

Awards

May 19th, 2009

Comments on "I Just Wanna Muff Dive Baby"

More comments:

On Sunday, September 28, 2014, Aengri Somnia (23) wrote:

this whole thing made me smile... kinda imagined it set to grunge. reminds me of a song we did back in my high school days... Yearbook. "Every now and then I stay up late, looking at your picture while i masturbate". kudo's dude for finding the funny in function, and perhaps heightening the connection with the poem's intense structuring... which btw doesnt with its strict rhythm make it tedious, the subject matter alleviating such tension. Oh and i defy anyone who wasnt, after reading this, randomly bursting out in melody: "I just wanna muff dive baby, YEAHHHH!" dum damdum dum dum damdum, YEAH!!!
On Sunday, December 23, 2012, Star (920) wrote:

this sir, is defiantly awesome at its core. i defiantly saw you rapping this to all the girls in the stands.. :D
On Sunday, December 23, 2012, Nehema (960) wrote:

Well deserving of an award, I never get tired of reading this...lol - XXOO
On Saturday, December 22, 2012, PoetessDarkly (700) wrote:

awesome write, got me all stirred up. I guess I'm going to have to attack my husband......hehehe
A former member wrote: lol good one! I new a girl I just wanted to eat all the time! but she's long gone, and I can still remember just the way she tastes! ;)
On Saturday, July 28, 2012, Devilish (2658) wrote:

Hell yeah.. lol fucking stalker..
On Thursday, March 15, 2012, ladyofsorrow (17) wrote:

Well said my friend. Good job.
On Thursday, March 1, 2012, dwells (4285) wrote:

I read this before I joined up and reckoned that this could be my future home. Not sure if it was poem of the day or I checked your profile. Anyway it was re-assuring to think that some of my more controversial pieces wouldn't be rejected out of hand. Still chuckling 7 months later - wasn't sure it was you until just now. Kudos sarge, from the chair force.
On Friday, January 7, 2011, Grey Lies (186) wrote:

hahahahahahaha!! i lost my appetite for rice. thank you!
On Tuesday, May 25, 2010, Dreaming in Stanzas (303) wrote:

Yummy! i love it!
On Tuesday, May 18, 2010, HeadpatSlut (259) wrote:

HA-ha, fuck yeah Stalker, dive into that muff!
A former member wrote: very nice :)
A former member wrote: i can't stop laughing...
On Tuesday, March 18, 2008, denver nitze (256) wrote:

sing on. freaking rad. your rhythm is fantastic. *dives in* ~tÅ~
On Thursday, May 24, 2007, Vexed (74) wrote:

hmm... interesting... think I got a bit of deja vu happening here... lol... nonetheless, I like this work, definitely good rhythm to it...
On Thursday, May 24, 2007, SilentStalker (1066) wrote:

...well, if I said the same thing twice, I'd probably have a deja vu moment too... ;)
On Sunday, April 26, 2015, Cantara (819) wrote:

LMFAOFFFF!!!! â†‘â†‘ O GOD
A former member wrote: really awesome poem.... kind of inspires me...
A former member wrote: AMAZING!
On Tuesday, March 6, 2007, Aunty Depressant (434) wrote:

Eh, eat me ;P This was sweet, *wonders...could we find a way to integrate this genetic disposition into the masses?
On Friday, March 2, 2007, carlosjackal (3015) wrote:

*wipes away tear* I feel so proud to have read the work of someone who feels the same as I do about eating out. Making a girl's raspberry swirl is truly a great talent - Carl
On Friday, March 2, 2007, Sin (1168) wrote:

lmao...raspberry swirl
On Wednesday, February 14, 2007, Lynaes (859) wrote:

how the HELL did I miss this?? "vaginal cuisine" haha.. pure genius. I'm purely rocking your title too. Nice one Darun. :D
A former member wrote: Crude and demented but, hilariously written. I must give you major props. I about shit a brick laughing at this.
On Wednesday, January 24, 2007, jack paper (126) wrote:

omg.. this was just what i needed.. very funny, most entertaining...
On Sunday, November 26, 2006, CharlottesWeb (511) wrote:

The minute I read the word lady...with the content being what it is...CHEF from southpark popped up in my head. hehe...I loved this.
On Monday, October 2, 2006, Lotophagi (333) wrote:

haha, this rocks my socks...... I remember a few years ago some mates of mine came up with a club - the muff divers association..... reminded me very much of the 'meeting discussion'... brilliant. Thank you.
A former member wrote: got my mind in the gutter and your words in my brain. it also makes me crack up:)
On Sunday, May 28, 2006, Vexed (74) wrote:

hmmm, interesting... ....
On Thursday, May 4, 2006, Vicious Pixie (62) wrote:

this rocked....i can't believe i haven't read this before, it was great :)
A former member wrote: too friggin good
On Thursday, March 30, 2006, Chimauron (87) wrote:

Awesome :D
On Thursday, March 23, 2006, elisa (1616) wrote:

i never get tired of this....... ever consider writing a detailed 'How To...' guide...? ....then record it as an audio book in your best Barry White voice;)
On Thursday, March 23, 2006, Angst Queen (370) wrote:

::coughs:: Well, that is some funny shit. Nice, Darun
On Sunday, March 5, 2006, Kinkypoptart (555) wrote:

Your writes always make me laugh... damn, you're a genius. ~*~Tart~*~
On Friday, February 24, 2006, Army Barbie (324) wrote:

And why am I just now reading this? Cause it's fuckin hilarious. I. Loved. It. Thanks babe
A former member wrote: Lolz.That was funny.I love it!