zebra stripes and herd logic

By capt_funguy

don't ask me who ...

(cokehead)

on the balcony , i watched the lightning fly through the skies of
jersey some 30 something miles away...

depth perception , wild eyed dimension

this was that kind of heaven -
simple semi enclosure , front row shelf -
generous portion pie slice of the world

don't ask me when ..

( reagan just saved the planet )

i was starry eyed by the warring sky...
but somewhere subtle in my head , i was digesting information at
a rapid pace -

where was the responsible supervision really ? ( really?)

exposure was all it was ...

little sudden introductions ...

little spoons , snipped short straws , complex vitamin strategies ,
kenya safari van owned by the hippie stoop solo informant

an informant for an authority without souls

he whispered a codeword ( probably something rediculous like misused
san francisco hipspeak ) and the cops who weren't policing would descend upon
target and fucking kill everyone and everything

kids were there

i was a kid

but those kids got their brains blown out execution style ( mistake proof professional ),
and everything was gone and everything was removed , then reality was replaced with
conspicuous clues pointing actual dead fingers at some columbian slice of
instant gangland fiction ( fictperfectionists )

and there were kids there ...
kids wearing puma baskets and wondering about 4th grade urgencies

kids like me

i wore them and wondered about what things meant...
i still wonder

see , there's always a second economy -
there's a cost structure to everything -
an invisible world behind seemingly simple things
but for every action , there's a profitable reaction , please
understand this .... there is at this time , nothing on earth that moves
without being pushed -
there are no real accidents ...
and once and for all , guns don't kill people , money does , influence does,
people do
the kids weren't killed by guns , they were splattered all over the living
room by opportunity
a forced eclipse

it could've been me
get me?
i was there -
looking at the thunderclash ( or maybe distant powderflash) from a balcony that
was merely an offshoot of an aforementioned possibility
the possibility of the whole apartment being turned into a pollock nightmare...
splash - splash , but - red , red , red ( he could never do all reds - pollock -, he knew what it
would be - slaughterhouse - he wouldn't allow that to happen from his hands , from
his thoughts - slaughterhouse - he couldn't show that was inside him )


the coke was in the closets - hidden ...

don't touch the fucking scale

the scale was out and always left in exactly the same place - it was
believed that would give the appearance of consistency - to show , all was well -
the scale would have to be moved to be tampered with so , ....

don't touch the fucking scale


this is so long ago ,


the iranian hostages ( fuck iran ) were released over our publc address system -
we celebrated like overjoy , because our new president was a baddass whom
those other than us types were desperately afraid of

there was nothing at that point to see through ...
we were freedom's bund

we say ... fuck your olympics
we fly planes in space
our ICBM's go faster .... we will watch you burn

the tension was fuel ,
that's all ...
just a heightened awareness -
we were fine


i think we were fortunate enough to predate the video and
computer explosion

we sold iced tea in our front yards , at way below cost
we dug holes in our backyards , and found things very lost

the mushroom clouds we'd imagined were of our own final design

the bright pacific sunglass testing versions were so pale , and of
course we knew better than to think hiroshima went black
then white

we knew it was more

kids today - really -
they know too much
their worries are deflated by having seen annihilation from
far too many camera angles

like jaws got less scary

( fear is a dead priviledge it seems )


evil is a jalopy

those shoots pushed under those fingernails 60 years
ago were cinematic
hitler was a number crunching clown

dead priviledge

atari was just the first bullet shot through the only gland that
excretes the sixth sense chemical - the microdose touch that lets you
feel a little truth , and imagine for yourself ...
how bad " horrible" really is

horrible must be the sulfer smell at 3am with the splintered crashing ,
still resounding through the house .... the flash and pop of small arms fire,
downstairs and coming up .... the barking of orders , and your parent's
screams of compliance..... watching the wall board ripped of the studs,
puffs of gypsum dust with mustiness and woodchip filled fiberglass
" WHERE ARE THE FUCKING BAGS !"
everything is shredded , you can't see a thing


they keep talley's on serial killers to make bar graphs and show
exactly where humanity's worst elements are doing their chores ...
they tint their faces or polish their teeth in photographs engineered
to occupy , or frighten certain segments


bark , bark

there is a measurable portion of society that won't go out after dark ,
simply because there's nothing there for them...
another measure would show the portion who would stay indoors out of
fear
fear of the unscary volkswagon with a handsome devil at the wheel -
fear of fellows that will eat you ....
fear of monsters

sheep turn and dash , driven by fear of the dog
the dog is the monster that will most certainly eat them if they don't
stick close to the protection of the herd
( actually , sheep are most often surprised that this tactic works , their
whole lives pass before their eyes , countless times a day )


bark , bark , bark


monsters are there , stick close , please preciously close
to the herd

faith
in whatever form
has never failed as a tool

it never stopped being effective at keeping us in tight ,
shaking , quaking groups


fear and it's effect


i was before fear
the sick scenes were being played out everywhere but where i was
but he was there
i saw him without knowing a thing
he was never on the news , and was never featured in a
deck of cards , but the body count was in the scores
i rode in his zebra striped dodge van , i fascianted at his gotee,
he made jokes that i laughed at loudly
he was a dirty connection....

he made coke deals happen ....
serious marijuana / cash exchanges also
he brought people together with his dissarming
awkwardness , eccentricity , his - loopishness
he put money , and massive quantity in the same place ,
at the same time
arrangements
he'd then say the word into a transceiver , and the collectors would
converge on the scene

he said a word , and became invisible

he befriended people in order to kill them , and take what they had

i was there , my supervision was befriended by him

but for reasons unknown , he never said the word that would
kill us

the quantity was there , the money was there
some unknown barrier was there too

i was the kid , cut up by the broken shells on the beach,
swimming , bleeding , oblivious , that the shark passes right by

i don't even know it , until the next kid is cut in half

nothing is clear until someone gets torn apart

a murderer made me laugh , i don't remember what was
so funny , as i remind myself that nothing ever was

even when you're good at being afraid , as we were back then ,
you can't smell your own blood through your skin
that's left to the sharks of opportunity
the dogs you can't see

they don't bark
they don't even get indicted


there is no moral to this story
nor is there any exaggeration
stick close to the herd
their camoflauge works

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2005 capt_funguy
Published on Wednesday, July 13, 2005.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "zebra stripes and herd logic"

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  • Cassette On Thursday, January 4, 2018, Cassette (1144)By person wrote:

    your work is so masterful.

  • carlosjackal On Wednesday, June 15, 2011, carlosjackal (3010)By person wrote:

    I've been rereading many of your old works over recent weeks, this one included..Just no one else writes like you do..I'd love to see at least a slight return from you. When you last posted, the 'credit crunch' and following recession were just looming in the distance, so I'm sure you'd have plenty to say 4 years on :)

  • blue On Tuesday, January 27, 2009, blue (1454)By person wrote:

    You have this way about you in your writing, where it seems that nothing is overlooked, everything taken into account, played upon honestly whether you've gained understanding of your experiences or not; it all becomes important and equally shared, a seeming catharsis to be sure. Your wordings, descriptions of thought and circumstance are magnetically delivered. As always, hXc. Hope you're well Kirk. ~b

  • carlosjackal On Friday, March 16, 2007, carlosjackal (3010)By person wrote:

    This was Pixies on insightful political acid, seeing truths with guillotine eyes and expressing themselves with a calm like a knowledgeable world-traveller just off from the side of the bar.

  • carlosjackal On Friday, March 16, 2007, carlosjackal (3010)By person wrote:

    This was truly one of the most mindblowing things ever...I would love to see your stuff published and I'm still waiting on that new piece..space on my account beckons, dude :)

  • A former member wrote: as of late, i cannot convey to you what this piece means to me. shit has been hectic to say the least... thank you for this!

  • A former member wrote: question everything and you'll get more poetry like this

  • TaintedButterfly On Thursday, January 12, 2006, TaintedButterfly (670)By person wrote:

    This is so real, raw, intense and it made me cry. It is so true on so many levels. Brilliant, of the 4 star caliber! Julia~

  • WinterGrave On Saturday, December 10, 2005, WinterGrave (258)By person wrote:

    havent read anything from you in awhile,but im glad i have now, amazing man.~~~Grave

  • A former member wrote: I think you've mentioned everything, like as though you have the world under your surveyance to pick out your pieces, and make your evaluations. Astonishing!

  • Mute Serenade On Thursday, September 22, 2005, Mute Serenade (445)By person wrote:

    whooosh wahoo and motherfuckin rah! Hi fungi- sweller than a camel eating fondu- i just got around to watching harold and maude, haha.... sue

  • A former member wrote: your writing style is so different. but it works.....great write

  • GoldenLotus On Monday, September 12, 2005, GoldenLotus (47)By person wrote:

    capt_amazing, extraordinary work!!!...glad i stumbled my way upon it...GP

  • A former member wrote: this was too amazing for me to not say anything, but i really don't know what to say. there were so many amazing lines, i wouldn't even know where to start! i love the way this reads like a stream of consciousness. it really is qso unique; your style is l

  • A former member wrote: your style is like nothing i have ever seen before... just AMAZING. ....-samone

  • A former member wrote: This is the first poem i have read on the site... and i'm booking marking it. Wonderful job! I consumed this like really expensive cheese- with out the stomache ache.

  • AniDayz On Saturday, August 27, 2005, AniDayz (820)By person wrote:

    ****************************....there is absolutely nothing i can think to say..other than....this soars beyond amazing...and my appreciation and respect---is right HERE.************************

  • girlafraid On Tuesday, August 23, 2005, girlafraid (480)By person wrote:

    there are parts of you in here that i never knew...sometimes scary parts, not you specifically but the references you can make because of your experiences...i like to believe that you weren't that kid...

  • flying_fox On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, flying_fox (573)By person wrote:

    Capt, you ahve to be one of the most intriguing writers I have ever come across. So many lines here leapt off the screen at me... too many to quote. Your

  • flying_fox On Tuesday, August 9, 2005, flying_fox (573)By person wrote:

    gift for vivid description and taking the reader on a journey of... terror...sadness...atrocity... is astounding. For the record though, I LOVED the stanza about Pollock. Brilliant.

  • Six-Out On Sunday, July 24, 2005, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    I can't say much, that the poets below haven't already touched. But I'll just leave my mark here, and let you know that I'm astounded.

  • A former member wrote: Oh my. I been waiting and you delivered in your usual blow the fucking skies open fashion. I didn't need to be there to be there, the visuals you painted forced it on me. Fucking intense. ~Ship!

  • A former member wrote: the prose in the poem where sick (sick as in good)it was oh so fucking smooth.... I must say I love the rambling feel this poem had allmost like a really tallented crackhead wrote it

  • not an addict On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    so we're sitting around the fire, right? talking. sometimes there's nervous laughter, but most times it's just the hesitation, the anxiousness that comes as prelude to the next word.

  • not an addict On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    and we're leaning in closer to the fire, watching it dance, forcing our eyes to focus in a vain attempt at keeping some hold on self.

  • not an addict On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    there comes a point when we're all ready to dive in, when the fire seems ready to jump out and devour us all, and we'd let it, willingly, because for a moment we might understand where it was coming from.

  • not an addict On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    and then it's over... we're in the dark again. and we realize story time is over. and we beg you to start talking again.

  • not an addict On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, not an addict (45)By person wrote:

    (alternatively- your words are a rollercoaster... and thank you for sharing)

  • A former member wrote: Oh, wow. This was beyond worth the time it took to read the whole thing. This was a-fucking-mazing. I don't know what to say aside from everything down there and then some.

  • doll on the rag On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    god damn. admittedly, it's a bit hard to follow at first-- but i wouldn't change a lick. trying to read it while trying to understand it puts you in a panic-tense state of mind, which is perfect for the piece.

  • doll on the rag On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, doll on the rag (200)By person wrote:

    it's bizarre to me, since i didn't live it, but you've made it oh-so-tangible. thank you.

  • Solace On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, Solace (1069)By person wrote:

    I love it, I love all your work, the anecdotes of a bygone era, its beautiful...its as if i can hear your voice, one of those old story tellers who talk and talk, but you have to listen for the punchline

  • Solace On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, Solace (1069)By person wrote:

    i'm not sure if there are any punchlines, not sure if its just me reacting to things that i've never seen, never experienced, but just the same i know them as if they were mine

  • Solace On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, Solace (1069)By person wrote:

    Mayhap one day i'll do the same of this about the 90's with my own perspective and it will seem similar...its amazing how similar other lives can seem and yet so far apart...

  • Solace On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, Solace (1069)By person wrote:

    This is freaking fantastic as always man, never a dry eye, never a dull moment...you are my hero, in a world full of cardboard cutout comedians...

  • mysticventures On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, mysticventures (538)By person wrote:

    Wow - and to think i read this after only one cup of coffee (now i need a drink) - that was an incredible journey my friend!!!

  • VenomPlease On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, VenomPlease (134)By person wrote:

    Like they said... I'm not sure I understand everything entirely, but I guess it's that personal touch that makes it good.

  • TheBardOfBlasphemy On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, TheBardOfBlasphemy (358)By person wrote:

    This did jump from place to place but it was an interesting journey.

  • stormtalk On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, stormtalk (729)By person wrote:

    Hmm... I love the title, but the content is pretty disjointed and difficult to follow, and a lot of it doesn't make much sense. The last stanza is great, but I don't think it justifies the rest in the way you intend it to.

  • capt_funguy On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, capt_funguy (778)By person wrote:

    hmmm ,,, well it may fall into the unfortunate - " guess you had to be there " category (1980) , whereas some references , and mindsets might seem alien , or unimportant ... ...

  • capt_funguy On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, capt_funguy (778)By person wrote:

    if you were there , it might be an easier string to follow ... or perhaps it's trash ,,,lol ... , either way , i appreciate your time , and your candor ... thanks man ... funguy

  • stormtalk On Wednesday, July 13, 2005, stormtalk (729)By person wrote:

    and i yours

  • Anth On Monday, July 18, 2005, Anth (1133)By person wrote:

    it doesnt feel disjointed or hard to follow at all, i dont think it could have been written any other way, it captures the essence, it reads as it comes and its as good as all the other work in your collection, that being the pinnacle of compliments

  • Anth On Monday, July 18, 2005, Anth (1133)By person wrote:

    , as if i was fed jigsaw pieces to a much greater picture and im left to put that picture together long after the poem is over, so much is inspired, triggered from this work

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