z, last and liking it

z
alphabetically lonesome
and last
in a world that strives to be first
in a world
dying
of death

your throat
caked in dirt
you're dying of
thirst
parched,
hungry
for
freshness!

alone, so dead in a world
all of your own-
the swirlings of chaos
and your wicked dreams,
angry thoughts
and angry scars
the remnants
of these
days, hours, moments
when insanity
GETS THE BEST OF YOU!
GETS THE BEST OF YOU!

you're so angry!
and, fetal position on your bathroom rug-
CRYING

COLD, SHIVERING IN THE DARKNESS!
RASPING, thirst undying
YELLOW, dead skin around your eyes

They are crying out too.
you can see them.
through the terrarium glass
the white nurse coats
too clean and unreal

this endless charade (unreeling)
as
too obscene and unfeeling

you can touch it, see it-
but never! never! Please just let me!
feel it.
just like your fleshy heart,
the beating organ,
an drummer boy
that dictates the marching
of the army.

it never stops (But how you wish it to stop)

the pouding and beating within you
is
inescapable-
You’re all alone, defenseless
And naked
Dangers lurk in your eyes
seeking the freedom
of spilt emotion

raise your glass, dear
(in lonely toast)
celebrate!
for all of the world
ahces to be first,
you are last and liking it.
And reveling in that
terrible
Fate.