Unheathly Addictions

perhaps...
If i just took a breath in the right direction, my cravings would relieve themselves.
perhaps...
If i drank enough water, the alcohol would drain out of my blood.
To say I've tried would be a lie, but my god, perhaps, if i should wake before i die, the sun would shine into my eyes, beneath the lids so full of lies, and into my mind, so sick of temporary highs...to rip my from my medicinal ties.

While in a haze i watch the smoke, devoured by the fan above...thus i pour more rum into my coke, and reprocess the bitter rules of love.

I wait to unlock.
The drugs are my key.

He takes a bite into my heart, and i hope to heaven that soon we will part, and weight he puts on my body, mind, and soul will lift. Like a start blaxing through the heavy night clouds.

Release me, I plea,
in argument with myself,
but during my refusal,
i top my vodka off with tea,
and head back to his doorstep,
on his knees.

With my eyes I stare up, and grasp the straw dipped in my cup, as the ceiling glares me diagonal and down, and spins itself into the ground, crashing into my drunken frown, i reach for a grip while i slowly drown,
with pleasure,
in knowing,
that in 6 hours,
i will remember nothing.