Ignorance is Bliss

when i was a little girl,
i used to pretend to smoke the cigarettes off the street.
but i never really...
experienced the heat,
of a light, until i was 14, and trying to impress you.

when i was a little girl,
i didn't know just how ignorant my parents were.
and i used to try to heal my sister.
searching for a true cure,
to her disobedience.

when i was a little girl,
i wanted to be a model up on the billboard signs.
up until i met you, and realized,
that one could only shine...
with their own advertisements.

when i was a little girl,
i would sit on my daddy's lap.
pretending to sleep...but i never really shut my eyes,
i never really took that nap,
until i climbed down, from his heart.

when i was a little girl,
i thought his..."spankings", across my face,
were justified;
he rightfully put me back in my place.
but i will never forget, how to swallow my blood.

when i was a little girl,
i would listen through my sister's walls.
trying to understand her friends,
pacing the halls.
i never caught a word, but it felt good to be part of it.

when i was a little girl,
i read the children's bible ritually with my mommy.
pay attention to the words? never.
the day she stopped is when she saw me,
throw the book beneath my bed.

when i was a little girl,
i couldn't wait to grow up.
but i knew not the meaning of,
half empty nor half full was my cup.

God, to be young again.