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Dove (falling feathers)
By OLd SouL
...I don't want to be the one that hurts you
the fragile
bone structure of a feather
bend)ing... flut-tering
in my dry
ice exhalation
dip the tip
in a jar full
of liquid
persuasions...
and
draw me a picture
...of the
darkest cor n er
in your heart
I'd fight your nightmares
in my dreams
if the morning hour
would be brighter for you
-but-
don't ask me
to
love
you
your heart
is not for me to break
its a beautiful thing to watch a dove
on a wire
...something I would die to touch
to know what it
feels like to feel...
...to feel her
But my hands are
[cages]
they belong to these words
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 OLd SouL
Awards
Comments on "Dove (falling feathers)"
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On Friday, November 5, 2004, flying_fox
(573)
wrote:
I think I just fell in love with you.
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On Monday, November 1, 2004, Lotophagi
(333) wrote:
I've read this a few times now, and still, I just, arg, it's beautiful, beyond beauty, and reading it..... my heart feels as though it's expanding to twice its normal size. And that last line..... this is sublime. Thank you.
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On Monday, November 1, 2004, BeautifulCalamity
(428) wrote:
"I'd fight your nightmares in my dreams if the morning hour would be brighter for you"---and i come back to this again, so beautiful old..
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On Thursday, October 28, 2004, BleedSilver
(298) wrote:
Wow...I have never really had the time to stop and read your stuff, But I feel empty now because I haven't. Your few wroks that I have read now have filled an empty void inside of me. ~Mikey
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On Thursday, October 28, 2004, NikesRain
(1298) wrote:
i just have to keep coming back to this and reading it over and over. it's jut too lovely not to.
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On Tuesday, October 12, 2004, CharlottesWeb
(511) wrote:
I think, I would like to read a book of pages filled with only these words, arranged ever so delicately as you've done here...Dark, like a snow flake iced with crystals in the night. This is just...magnficent.
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On Tuesday, October 12, 2004, BeautifulCalamity
(428) wrote:
"...something I would die to touch to know what it feels like to feel... ...to feel her" ..wow , old.. this is just incredibly beautiful. kind of reminds me of edward scissorhands, for some strange reason..
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A former member wrote:
This is so mesmerizing. It's profound and I just feel like I have fallen through a cursed looking glass, into a world of crippled butterflies and christmas robins, preening a red breast without a trace of wonderland snow. I am in awe. ~*~ Rose ~*~
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On Saturday, October 9, 2004, cre
(411) wrote:
Oh .. Oldie . . this is wonderful. Incredibly well done.
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On Saturday, October 9, 2004, knightmirror
(426) wrote:
this is extraordinary work right here...every line drips with beauty.....i stand in awe...*standing ovation*...****-knight
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On Tuesday, October 5, 2004, Railway_Butterfly
(354) wrote:
Re is right...no one even comes close....
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On Tuesday, October 5, 2004, Railway_Butterfly
(354) wrote:
Oldie,you have the power to render me speechless with every single word I read...I could have cried when i read this..'dip the tip in a jar full of liquid persuasions...and draw me a picture...of the darkest cor n er in your heart'..just beautiful...
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, Recycled
(94) wrote:
No one here, holds a candle to you. You've got this site on lock down.
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, Sin
(1168) wrote:
there is nothing i can say that hasnt been said...simply breath taking ~kristy
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, girlafraid
(480) wrote:
dip the tip in a jar full of liquid persuasions-what a beautiful line...your thoughts are always so delicate...lovely work as usual...incredibly sad *hugs*
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, DarkDruidess
(326) wrote:
I am left with a wistful yearning...for what I am unsure. Nice job...
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A former member wrote:
"draw me a picture ...of the darkest cor n er in your heart" This is incredibly beautiful. It made me feel beautiful just reading it. I'm left with a lingering fragile feeling. Eeeeee, you're amazing.
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, Six-Out
(1435) wrote:
Old...dude, seriously...I think adding this to my favorites list is all I can do, since I'm left speechless.
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, Zhee
(529) wrote:
absolutely amazing.. far too many perfect lines for me to highlight.. i loved this so much.. it was sheer beauty in words.
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, Solace
(1069) wrote:
Your an old soul indeed...Your works remind me of something done in the old style, feather pens and rolled parchment...wanting but refraining...the virtue of observing...
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A former member wrote:
very vivid and descriptive, I love the image of falling feathers... a moment captured in time.. still.. I love the structure of this... and the theme I can feel is a heart thumping... keep writing... please.
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A former member wrote:
you are a true poet if ever i read ones works yours are like knives...that speak of so much truth...this is a jewel...so precious and valuable...i wish to look upon it forever
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A former member wrote:
amazing...very very vivid .
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On Sunday, October 3, 2004, Lynaes
(859) wrote:
"...and I don't want to be the one that hurts you the fragile bone structure of a feather bend)ing... flut-tering in my dry ice exhalation" so breath takingly delicate..
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On Sunday, October 3, 2004, Lynaes
(859) wrote:
I always feel like I can reach out and touch your poetry, and it always screams a colour at me.. I know that sounds weird.. forgive me, it's 3:30am.. You're so unique Oldie.. and your writing is so wonderfully pure.. amazing.
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On Sunday, October 3, 2004, NikesRain
(1298) wrote:
oh Oldie..I can't say how lovely this is...I can't get the words past the tears in my throat. *sigh* absolutely lovely.
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On Monday, October 4, 2004, NikesRain
(1298) wrote:
damn it.....this is so beautiful.
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On Sunday, October 3, 2004, FallenFaith
(44) wrote:
I have felt this way but I have never been able to explain it. This is absolutly beautiful. a true old soul you are
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On Sunday, October 3, 2004, purr_verse
(1059) wrote:
this is absolutely heartrendingly lovely. i can't think of what to say about it; it's just divine. hope my little *faveclick* makes up for my lack of words, at least in part. magnificent.
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A former member wrote:
Oh, Oldie...I'm practically at a loss...this has such a peaceful aura. I love it.
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