Dove (falling feathers)

By OLd SouL

...I don't want to be the one that hurts you
the fragile bone structure of a feather
bend)ing... flut-tering
in my dry ice exhalation

dip the tip
in a jar full
of liquid
draw me a picture
...of the darkest cor n er
in your heart

I'd fight your nightmares in my dreams
if the morning hour
would be brighter for you
don't ask me
your heart is not for me to break

its a beautiful thing to watch a dove on a wire
...something I would die to touch
to know what it feels like to feel... feel her

But my hands are [cages]

they belong to these words

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 OLd SouL
Published on Sunday, October 3, 2004.     Filed under: "Love" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "Dove (falling feathers)"

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  • Drea On Monday, June 11, 2018, Drea (1516)By person wrote:

    Your words... I will always love them. I'm beyond happy to see you pop back in.

  • OLd SouL On Monday, June 11, 2018, OLd SouL (781)By person wrote:

    It's back for Nikes, if she ever comes around this way.

  • A former member wrote: absolutely beautiful piece :)

  • warriorpoet74 On Tuesday, May 8, 2012, warriorpoet74 (70)By person wrote:

    Dude....this chokes the breath out of me. Astounding.

  • MyScarletLetter On Friday, March 4, 2011, MyScarletLetter (6)By person wrote:

    oh wow...I love this. The way you wrote it feels delicate and feather-light, yet so deep. Wonderful work.

  • A former member wrote: Wow. This peice of work (amazing work) is one of the most-commented-on i've seen so far coodo's!

  • A former member wrote: Beautifully composed....these words sing so true in so many ways....captivating and honest. Great work!

  • NikesRain On Thursday, January 13, 2011, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    *hugs* miss your writing hun

  • NikesRain On Thursday, April 15, 2010, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    yep i still read this and the thoughts are still the same... -big little bear hugs to you hun

  • sanglante On Sunday, October 12, 2008, sanglante (17)By person wrote:

    Brilliantly beautiful. No other words to describe it.. -tomb.

  • prettydisgrace On Tuesday, February 20, 2007, prettydisgrace (96)By person wrote:

    lovely lovely

  • NikesRain On Monday, September 11, 2006, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    ♥ *smilesighs & huge little bear hugs* yes yes i know, again, but well.... you can tell me stop once again but you know i just can't....... love ya big bear

  • A former member wrote: This is probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

  • xserratedsoulx On Saturday, July 22, 2006, xserratedsoulx (214)By person wrote:

    love that last line. really, really, LOVE it.

  • NikesRain On Wednesday, December 7, 2005, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    i can't stay away from this, i think i'd get it tattooed on me if i could...*sigh* it's engraved into my heart already...

  • NikesRain On Sunday, March 12, 2006, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    today i needed this, today i wanted to be selfish and get lost a bit within beautiful words, today i had to ... and hope you would forgive me

  • glasshouse On Monday, December 5, 2005, glasshouse (568)By person wrote:

    *sigh* I always come back to this, Oldie. I will never forget this poem and its impact. You are amazing. Simply amazing. I cannot do you justice. -Glass

  • A former member wrote: absoultely stunning write! beautiful style and metere...congrats.

  • NikesRain On Thursday, June 2, 2005, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    *hugs you tight* you are truly outstanding and this is eternally beautiful like your soul

  • NikesRain On Monday, October 24, 2005, NikesRain (1341)By person wrote:

    damn this gets me every time, tears and melting at the same time.... stunning

  • BoldSolitude On Tuesday, May 24, 2005, BoldSolitude (214)By person wrote:

    I re-read this and I must comment again. I like the style you write in that makes your writting a bit mystical and yet you get the meaning without completely understanding it at first.

  • BoldSolitude On Tuesday, May 24, 2005, BoldSolitude (214)By person wrote:

    Like this, after revisiting it I comprehend it even more than I initially did. The feather pen and ink persuasions and how we are limited to expression by use of words, esentially enslaved.

  • Kinkypoptart On Tuesday, May 3, 2005, Kinkypoptart (578)By person wrote:

    Oh my goodness. You never cease to amaze me with your words and they always make my jaw drop *picks up jaw* Painfully true, this poem is. Great write ~*~Tart~*~

  • Elise On Thursday, February 10, 2005, Elise (197)By person wrote:

    Wow, how did I miss this? This was breathtaking. I loved every moment of reading this Oldie, you're awesome! *bear hugs*

  • CarpeDiemJane On Tuesday, February 8, 2005, CarpeDiemJane (39)By person wrote:

    woah. i love the imagery and just the pure vision i get reading this. marevlouso!

  • Malice In Wonderland On Monday, February 7, 2005, Malice In Wonderland (1022)By person wrote:

    Oh christ...there's too many parts I loved...this strikes many chords...I'm just not able to find accurate words to voice them, wonderful work, Oldie. Scholar

  • flying_fox On Monday, January 24, 2005, flying_fox (596)By person wrote:

    I just read this again... and fell in love with you. Again. This is pure magic.

  • ShardsofSilence On Sunday, January 23, 2005, ShardsofSilence (226)By person wrote:

    simply amazing...such vivid imagery. i loved every bit of it. it gave me goosebumps. awesome work. really is a great piece

  • stormtalk On Monday, January 17, 2005, stormtalk (735)By person wrote:

    I'll add my voice to the list below and say, "incredible work." "My hands are cages/ they belong to these words" was particularly striking. I still think I have a fetish for the ends of writes; it's always the most powerful part. Great job.

  • Rone4611 On Saturday, January 8, 2005, Rone4611 (125)By person wrote:

    *shivers and twitches slightly...* *looks at the work before me and sighs sadly*

  • BoldSolitude On Monday, January 3, 2005, BoldSolitude (214)By person wrote:

    Such vivid imagery in this piece. I really enjoyed it, especially the poignant "But my hands are cages" The entire piece was a wonderful use of words and imagery to reveal the depth of the desperation.

  • BoldSolitude On Friday, January 7, 2005, BoldSolitude (214)By person wrote:

    I also really liked "but, don't ask me to love you, your heart is not for me to break"

  • A former member wrote: This is truly something that touched my soul...I love it!

  • urbanhumility On Thursday, December 9, 2004, urbanhumility (1205)By person wrote:

    the last two lines strike blood.........well done..........urban

  • A former member wrote: is it I haven't commented on this? I guess I'll join the party of comments. I feel this deeply. I want to quote so many lines of this. So many visions come to mind.

  • A former member wrote: "...and I don't want to be the one that hurts you; the fragile bone structure of a feather; bend)ing... flut-tering in my dry ice exhalation" I see complete enrapturement (is that a word?)

  • A former member wrote: 2nd stanza: placing you in her heart but in the furthest recesses. 3rd stanza: as you would be everything to her that you could but there was one thing you couldn't give.

  • A former member wrote: The realization in this poem is heart-aching. Aren't most of us cages, trapping the beautiful so that we might just see, just touch for a moment on that beauty...and yet, the beauty would be marred forever.

  • Railway_Butterfly On Tuesday, December 7, 2004, Railway_Butterfly (358)By person wrote:

    I can't help myself coming back to read this piece again and again...I just love it,but I could never find the words to do this justice...'...and I don't want to be the one that hurts you' *sighs*

  • A former member wrote: i'd fight your nightmares in my dreams...what an intense statement. absolutely dripping with depth.

  • CarpeDiemJane On Wednesday, December 1, 2004, CarpeDiemJane (39)By person wrote:

    *eyes watering* i love the images. great job.

  • A former member wrote: "the fragile bone structure of a feather bend)ing... flut-tering in my dry ice exhalation" This poem feels lovely; soft, like silk. Very well crafted in form [wonderful last line]. -bravo.

  • sIo On Friday, November 12, 2004, sIo (885)By person wrote:

    this truly is an amazing piece.

  • flying_fox On Friday, November 5, 2004, flying_fox (596)By person wrote:

    I think I just fell in love with you.

  • Lotophagi On Monday, November 1, 2004, Lotophagi (341)By person wrote:

    I've read this a few times now, and still, I just, arg, it's beautiful, beyond beauty, and reading it..... my heart feels as though it's expanding to twice its normal size. And that last line..... this is sublime. Thank you.

  • BeautifulCalamity On Monday, November 1, 2004, BeautifulCalamity (434)By person wrote:

    "I'd fight your nightmares in my dreams if the morning hour would be brighter for you"---and i come back to this again, so beautiful old..

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