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Once Upon a Sometime
By Six-Out
Once upon a sometime
this all felt right
waiting for tomorrow to end
as it drifts into tonight
the lies we tell ourselves
it's all alright, we lived
we loved, we die
sometimes
does it seem worth it
to you?
me- maybe we can try
-
you watched it fall
that one time -then
I watched you cry
you cried for them...
one time/
do you remember it?
you prayed that night
as the stars cried
your name
down to our earth
away from the hell
we fought
you lost that one
yet you prayed
to your grave
tomorrow maybe
[another day]
------------------------
the neon signs that guide my life
_I will not die
you want to know
just who I am
you want to try
maybe understand
or stand under and
overturn - the way
make me, another time
deny this life
as I put this pen to your vein
can you feel my words
-I hope you can
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Six-Out
Published on Sunday, September 19, 2004.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Awards
Comments on "Once Upon a Sometime"
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-
On Thursday, October 4, 2012, BetaWolfinVA
(795)
wrote:
love your voice, quite well done
-
On Wednesday, September 29, 2004, Ravenblade
(313) wrote:
wow jon, amazing wirte...I think I finally fixed my not being able to comment problem, but we'll see if it works this time....in any case for as rare as I see deep work from you its always a breath of fresh air...>Raven
-
On Friday, September 24, 2004, Sin
(1168) wrote:
this is wonderful, it captivates the whole way through...*tries not to read her own work to save a little bit of self esteem*
-
A former member wrote:
this was beautiful. you always make my poems look like shit. i give up!
-
On Tuesday, September 21, 2004, Crystal Passion
(221) wrote:
I can feel it Jon ;)
-
A former member wrote:
I agree with ElegantKiss on the orgasm line.
-
On Monday, September 20, 2004, Amanda Parnell
(57) wrote:
i'm baaaacccck.
-
On Monday, September 20, 2004, Alacer_Cogitatus
(140) wrote:
*pondering* wow. A_C
-
On Monday, September 20, 2004, purr_verse
(1059) wrote:
"maybe understand or stand under and overturn" - this is just fantastic. deeply melancholy piece still with a hint of hope; the third-last line is also particularly excellent.
-
On Monday, September 20, 2004, Anth
(1133) wrote:
yeah,the parts that purr highlighted are what impressed me most here
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A former member wrote:
Enthralling.
-
On Sunday, September 19, 2004, knightmirror
(426) wrote:
this is awesome work bro...i enjoyed this whole thing throughly...everything was so beautifully expressed...thanks for sharing this with all of us...****-knight
-
A former member wrote:
"as I put this pen to your vein
can you feel my words" - Mm. orgasm line.
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