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Livid Instancies
By Six-Out
have you ever -wondered
how it would
[feel]
to have life
_ripped_ apart
and torn from you
in an instant
counting down your miniscule delusions
reading too much into the
torn pages
of a book - long overdue
late fines and broken dreams
watch it now
falling into your mind
pick up the pieces of a life
shattered
.
.
.
fuck it
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
livid instancies
and open wounds
pour the salt into this life
and cry for the day it died
hoping for peace
in this over-rated reality
reeling in suspense
of a conclusion
long since due
take pride in your lies
benign inside
with violence your eyes
seeping indiscretions
watching tomorrow die
do you hate this?
of course you do
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Six-Out
Comments on "Livid Instancies"
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A former member wrote:
another masterpiece. the words seemed to jump out of the screen in a flourescent jumble, leaving me confused and lost within this piece. nicely done. i feel the need to read this again.
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On Monday, September 6, 2004, Ravenblade
(313)
wrote:
Incredible six, I always look forward to seeing what you're going to write next and you still have yet to let me down...keep up the great writing... >Raven<
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On Monday, September 6, 2004, Solace
(1069) wrote:
Man, you are truly writing with razors lately, each cut slices to the bone though...It's like you want violents to be playing and then you make them screech in pain...Absolutely goddamned painful...
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, Armand
(57) wrote:
instancies -a word seldom used, so a most apt title to a very original piece. "late fines and broken dreams" - another metaphor worth plagiarizing. your best work is your idealistic musings of life's detours, such as this wonderfully concise piece.
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, Anth
(1133) wrote:
this is a killing write man,u set the mood perfectly with your wording as ever so that it can nest itself right into our thoughts,the harsh truths and observations that you present,with style and mastery, especially brilliant write here
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, Anth
(1133) wrote:
the way you wrapped it up,especially hard hitting
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, A_Puppet_Show
(166) wrote:
Good stuff. I wondered if you mean, ones own life riped or the life of one close. I like to wonder, and I like the serene feeling that gave the rest of the poem. I sat thinking also, "I am in love with life, what is this man babling about"
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, A_Puppet_Show
(166) wrote:
It is my defence against your straightforwardness; as I often find that I dig too deep in finding errors, especialy when talented poets make paper shrinks with wonderful words.
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, A_Puppet_Show
(166) wrote:
And you do that often, and that make me often read these both to dig and to laugh and to simply enjoy. I think that is what your poetry is often in my eyes. Tiger
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, A_Puppet_Show
(166) wrote:
P.S: I say often very often, no? Yes? ... ti-hi ...sorry what a mess I am making *running away hiding*
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, NikesRain
(1298) wrote:
amazing work Jon..tearing at the very fabric of emotional self balancing with overpowering truth...Outstanding.
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On Sunday, September 5, 2004, CorruptedLittleGirl
(253) wrote:
I love it. Another masterpiece. Keep 'em coming, Jon.
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