Inside the Enemies Hands (repost)

why can't i stopretending i've nothing to
offer those as lost as me?
somewhat content in this pond of guilt
slowly sucking me in
sucking me dry
like the heat of the Sahara Desert that
scorches my will to press on
through destiny's journey
taking a firm grip upon unconcious hints given
to me so i can translate forgotten dreams
laying in puddles of black stench
pushing myself away
pushing myself into
false comfort easing the obvious tension
while hidden truths long to stretch out
from my wired jaw
broken with denial of self-esteem
smacking wisdom back down my throat
locking any door that possibly has a
chance to release my weakilled
inner strength
patiently awaiting for opportunity to
present itself
recooperating energy that strives to return
to the Universes aura
unveiling the star of life assigned to me
before my first breath exited
my lungs
now corroded with plateau's of sin that
blanket my heart
tarnishing the blood in my veins
competing with doubt to just merge with the
river of knowledge that calls
sanity's name
while i struggle to endure and listen to the
message that's stifled by screams
mangaling answers i stumbled across
without dropping my guard as intense battles
meagerly subdued

when

and only when

the clover of courage was obtained
undamaged
on this violently trampled unfertile soil
that miraculously bore fruit
feeding exhausted angels that fought proud
as they conquered demons vigarously
within myself

finally replenishing wings stolen from birth

finally savoring succulent sweet sensations

my birthrights
my heir looms

never to fall into evil's greedy
hands again