On the inside

I never thought that after all these years
That I would be alone
Alone, in a house so full of people
To have a husband and children
And to have people swirl aroud me
Yet be so empty and alone
On the inside

I never thought that after all these years
I would feel like death is a better option
Gone, when so many need me to be here
To have life streched in front of me
And have so many options
Yet feel like dying
On the inside

I never thought after all these years
I would be scared
Scared of myself and how I feel
To seem so strong to others
Help them so I wouldnt have to help myself
Yet be so terrified
On the inside

I never thought after all these years
I would come to be older
Unsure of who I am and where Im going
Wanting so much of something unknown
Yet feel like a kid
On the inside


I never thought after all these years
I would write it down
On paper for everyone to see
To expose myself
I feel naked
On the inside