A Cutter Transformed

she sits alone, cold...
music blaring in the background but only comes in cloudy waves to her focused mind.
she is focused on one thing...the pain, oh the pain.
she sits in a bathtub of cool water, already blood red.
she has drank herself dry, vision blurry and doubled.
the meds she took has slowed her once steady heart.
her arm resting on her knee, the cold steel gripped tightly between her fingers.
she looks at the progress she has made so far, not yet reached her goal.
she's only made an inch so far, carefully and deliberately breaking through each layer of her skin.
before she went across her veins, but this time she has another plan.
she is digging at her artery, longways down her arm, following the path that shows through her flesh.
she was crying but the tears are long gone, she is quite numb now, almost elated that she is going through with it.
all at once she clenches her teeth, tightly closes her eyes.
she takes one last deep breath, savoring the moment that she is in, the moment before her death.
she places the pointed edge on the tiny razor at the end of the wound she has already managed to make and in one swift sweet tear, cuts another four inches.
she falls back in the tub, head lying on the edge, eyes glassy grey, staring. Perhaps she is watching her soul rise as she lies there dying.
for this is what she always wanted.
this is not a time to make more scars, just a time to end it all.