Mindless Thoughts

mindless thoughts
and wishless distraught
when my body gets perturbed
my mind it disturbes
and you say its all placebo
but what the fuck do you really know?
my mind you think i lost
has just been momentarially misplaced
kinda like it floated into space
well if thats the case
maybe you should stay the fuck out of my face
im stuck in this daze
my eyes stuck in this weary gaze
forveer madness i seem to find
always stressed, always pissed
i have gotten a black rose kiss
tainted in my dreams
or as though it seems
tattered, broken, torn apart
these are feelings from my heart
i do have my good days
and it doesnt seem to phaze
the illusion thats inside me
i wished it gone but now i see
it wont go away
it is here to stay
untill my life i change
my mind brought back to earth
so maybe i can finally see what im actually worth

empty promises and broken lies
i endure these things and my heart cries
i dont wanna think this way
my mind has been warped
soon i see myself a nothingness corpse
dead trying to understand
what my life couldve been
if only i had thought things differently
my life i couldve changed
but now im lying in a mange
of bloody tears
and heart wrenching fears
if i could do it again
i wouldnt have any blame
or self disrespect
mutilation was there too
like when i slit my wrist and blood started to spew
days on end
feeling without a friend
everything i loved i lost
god hates me
he doesnt want me to be happy
or live the way i want
but maybe its not him
maybe i shouldve been
more careful for what i think
then possibly i wouldnt sink
far down to my state of depression
now its time to get my mind out of the gutter
oh i shudder to think
how bad my life really can be
if i dont open my eyes now and fucking see.