reductionism/schism

By apophenia

what is this self-destruction i am so connected to, this broken down twitching epicenter of moving consciousness to the void and back again ... this desire to run and run until the third and fourth wind hits, past exhaustion and fatigue and euphoria and realization, past all this circular, angular perception of the moment and the decade and the people that live inside me vying for redemption from ignorance of the self ... like godel, a system can never be fully aware of itself, a constant paradox, a constant struggle for and against the complexity of webs within my subconsious, conscience, waking life melody i wish i was and wasn't dreaming and inside, and born every day as green as everything i cannot have and everything i cannot see and everything i have forgotten and forced myself to forget ... to run on once again tomorrow, tonight, in the morning or between the graying coolness of a paradoxical warm light ... everything is a maddening inverse of negative and positive ... where your cells decide to move you to in sporadic defense of a suppressing environment, an enclosure that is all fucking about you and me ... and it is all my default of choice ... where the dividing line is blurred past one one thousandth of a decimal/magnification and disappears when you try to define and articulate and make concrete ... let it go, let it flow away from me and into me ...

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Copyright 2004 Rara-Avis
Published on Friday, March 19, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "reductionism/schism"

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  • spring hews On Wednesday, September 5, 2012, spring hews (14)By person wrote:

    I love this piece. however. you seem so lost, not knowing which way to turn. you seem like you just want to tear off your own flesh and scream at the ignorance of it all. you seem like you are raging inside. so just scream. scream as loud and as long as you can with clenched fists. knuckles white to the bone. wouldn't freedom of self be magnificent? thank you for your honesty in this. it really is wonderful.

  • zanewill On Tuesday, January 30, 2007, zanewill (84)By person wrote:

    extraordinary!!

  • zanewill On Tuesday, January 30, 2007, zanewill (84)By person wrote:

    >>>>

  • birdwell On Saturday, March 27, 2004, birdwell (140)By person wrote:

    conscience, conscientia, consciousness, being so aware, yet so utterly... involved. a masterpiece of word, and thought ~db~

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Saturday, March 27, 2004, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    To strike a balance between the logical and poetic is the quest of the ages...is the sun really the wheel of a fiery chariot running across the sky toward eternity, or is the earth just turning? Scholar

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Saturday, March 27, 2004, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    ...does or body actually begin to break down and decay until the heart can beat no more...or are we aging, and growing wiser? Scholar

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Saturday, March 27, 2004, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    Likewise, the quest to obtain the fullest set of experiences in ones limited time versus never deeply knowing anyone or anything... Scholar

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Saturday, March 27, 2004, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    causing the quest to become nothing more than a continual retreat from intimacy. A system can truly never be fully aware of itself, in the end it must just be what it is... I would be willing to exit this quest right now, Scholar

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Saturday, March 27, 2004, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    drown thrashing in the deep waters until my lungs are filled and I let myself give in to sink into the depths...so long as I could do so in your mind, my sweet wanderer. Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • apophenia On Sunday, March 28, 2004, apophenia (39)By person wrote:

    transparency is evidently meaningful ... you induct the whole to my parts, articulate this wander/wonder even in my forgetfulness ... thank you

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