Captured and Forgotten

By hopeless

stuck.... in a whirlpool

....that does nothing but bring me down....

caught.... in this eclipse

....that has caused me to drown....

screaming.... into this black whole of darkness

....and yet no one can hear a sound....

cutting.... into shreds

....the threads of my life....

...then putting them back together again...

just..... like..... before

sinking.... into sand

....grains pulling at me....

a... thousand... souls

calling..... for release

falling..... into this crease

the broad valley.... created to hold everything...

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Copyright 2004 hopeless
Published on Wednesday, March 10, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Captured and Forgotten"

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  • A former member wrote: I found the use of '...' in this poem quite interesting...felt as though the thoughts were dragging, some kind of weight, like chains linking the lines together uncomfortably, defining the theme of the poem. The image of 'grains pulling at me' is so striking, the sand itself pulling the self into uncountable shreds. Very evocative, feeling of inevitability. Thanks for writing :)

  • Anth On Thursday, May 13, 2004, Anth (1133)By person wrote:

    this one swept me away, with its feeling and structure, that last line was stunning

  • A former member wrote: You captured with the title and kept me the words.

  • PointlessX On Thursday, March 11, 2004, PointlessX (36)By person wrote:

    I enjoyed it very much, it was like my own poem "Nowhere to be found"--nice work--PointlessX

  • Jaded Jezzabelle On Thursday, March 11, 2004, Jaded Jezzabelle (328)By person wrote:

    this is good stuff...i like the feeling of being lost with in yourself...but the...was used a little too much...

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