Blissful Death...

Cross legged on my bed
With a single tear down my cheek
Alone, with no one around
Screaming in the roaring silence in my head
I slowly begin to worry about my well-being
Am I really ok?
I'm always just so lost
And I have run out of energy to find my way
And a small part of me wishes
That someone will care enough to notice where I am
And how much I hurt
Even my enemy would be a comfort blanket
A distraction
A distraction from my pounding head
And I begin to plot out my death
A sensation runs through my body
Almost an orgasmic relief
I find bliss in the vision of my dead, limp body
Laying lifelessly on the hardwood floor
I can taste my stale blood on my tongue - Its velvety crimson sweetness
And I realize
The only way I will ever be alive
Is if I familiarize myself with the sensation of death