Capsized SouL

By OLd SouL

A hundred rhinos crash into the sea
they parade and drown in hollow waters
super novas dance on the crests
forever mourning a fool's wake

I crumble to the beach to perfect a sand angel
and wait for my message in a bottle

and time ebbs and flows
to minutes of the waves
as I stare at the moon
staring back at me

there is no sudden realization
the rhinos are part of the black mirage
and every star takes a bite
out of my capsized soul

I breathe echos into sails
just to stay afloat
I always sink
when my heart takes the helm

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 OLd SouL
Published on Thursday, January 29, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Capsized SouL"

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  • Mute Serenade On Sunday, July 30, 2017, Mute Serenade (471)By person wrote:

    I come back from time to time and marvel at how much I miss you... what beauty in your words.

  • OLd SouL On Monday, June 11, 2018, OLd SouL (781)By person wrote:

    It's pretty amazing to me that you still remember :) Miss you, too.

  • NikesRain On Sunday, February 21, 2016, NikesRain (1342)By person wrote:

    As like Drea... I come back to this (as you took away the 'doves') and reflect often, missing your work and words and overall the person behind them.

  • OLd SouL On Monday, June 11, 2018, OLd SouL (781)By person wrote:

    It's back.

  • Drea On Monday, February 1, 2016, Drea (1530)By person wrote:

    I miss you! I come back to this every so often just to remember. I know it won't happen, but I wish you'd pop back in. Even briefly.

  • Candy Hart On Monday, December 3, 2012, Candy Hart (30)By person wrote:

    Such gorgeous rhinos. Most certainly earned POTD. A beautiful read. "I breathe echoes into sails" is such a vivid line. It'll stick in my head for a while. Thanks for sharing this.

  • Ortolan On Friday, August 10, 2012, Ortolan (264)By person wrote:

    Too bad to leave, you have talent.Peace, nice work by the way.

  • ruthless48 On Friday, May 11, 2012, ruthless48 (166)By person wrote:

    i wish your poem title to be my only epitath~truly taken into the deep~ thank you

  • Dominic On Friday, May 4, 2012, Dominic (61)By person wrote:

    Exquisite. Good work.

  • NikesRain On Tuesday, October 4, 2005, NikesRain (1342)By person wrote:

    each time i read a piece of yours it seems to seep it so easily, images feelings, everything....this is so vivid and filled with so much to break the heart... superb as always

  • NikesRain On Tuesday, October 4, 2005, NikesRain (1342)By person wrote:

    p.s. miss you and hope you're well

  • A former member wrote: your popularity for many years. Timeless, Old, sincerely. ~ Rose

  • A former member wrote: thought I had discovered such beauty and now I share in it's guilt for after reading this I am left only to hope that I may be caressed in such a way again. I notice how abundantly exquisite you seem to others, and I can assure you that you will retain yo

  • A former member wrote: Beautifully nochalant, budding and fanciful. As softening and whimsical as a red rose frothed in the dew of morn - "A hundred rhinos crash into the sea they parade and drown in hollow waters/ I breathe echos into sails just to stay afloat". O, I thoug

  • Shadow Fox On Sunday, November 14, 2004, Shadow Fox (20)By person wrote:

    great work old. i could actully picture it as i read it excellent. ~Fox

  • knightmirror On Thursday, September 9, 2004, knightmirror (432)By person wrote:

    holy mackarel this is grrrrrreat.you know what i have to do,i do..****-knight...btw *standing ovation*

  • A former member wrote: I like it. Its got great visualality to it...If thats even a word. I could really picture you descriptions. †

  • A former member wrote: i love your work..this was great

  • Mr King On Friday, May 14, 2004, Mr King (548)By person wrote:

    beautifully sad... ironically poignant... the tragedy always balanced with the victory?... a tragic comedy of suffering... or can we rise forever?... slowly... gracefully...?

  • Mr King On Friday, May 14, 2004, Mr King (548)By person wrote:

    can a soul choose to stay young and never grow old...

  • Mr King On Friday, May 14, 2004, Mr King (548)By person wrote:

    ?

  • Mute Serenade On Monday, April 26, 2004, Mute Serenade (471)By person wrote:

    you're a great honorable rarity. I hold you on the high ledge of DP-ers, along with a select few. Your work is impenetrable, never to find a flaw. I wish my words could do some justice.-Sue

  • urbanhumility On Monday, April 19, 2004, urbanhumility (1207)By person wrote:

    this is friggin fantastic, "i breath echos into sails" brilliant well done my friend, an encapsulated dispair, poetry incarnate........urban

  • Crystal Passion On Wednesday, April 14, 2004, Crystal Passion (222)By person wrote:

    * posts a sign on you profile that says "wisdom dwells here" *

  • sulkylime On Wednesday, March 24, 2004, sulkylime (203)By person wrote:

    you know i bookmarked this poem but i still have nothing to say about it because im always speechless.

  • girlafraid On Tuesday, March 23, 2004, girlafraid (497)By person wrote:

    i can't pick the line i like best...this is just perfection...impressive work...*afraid*

  • Mistress Morbid On Thursday, March 18, 2004, Mistress Morbid (455)By person wrote:

    How you got that to fit, I am not sure, but you make it look so easy. =) Morb

  • BoldSolitude On Thursday, March 4, 2004, BoldSolitude (214)By person wrote:

    I enjoyed the whole poem but I really like the last verse. Great metaphor. Keep up the good work.

  • WinterGrave On Monday, March 1, 2004, WinterGrave (271)By person wrote:

    wonderful read, vary nice.~~~Grave

  • A former member wrote: And the last stanza pretty much sums up my life. I love it...love it love it love it! The description is wonderful and perfectly chosen words.

  • Storm On Monday, February 16, 2004, Storm (147)By person wrote:

    Your imagination is amazing, you find new ways to describe everything. I love that about you. This poem felt true, whenever hearts are at command it's bound to end at the bottom of the sea... sad. ~S

  • A former member wrote: Impressive indeed. +T.P.U+

  • Ophelia On Tuesday, February 3, 2004, Ophelia (228)By person wrote:

    there is so much of this that is so touchable(couldn't think of a better word)beautiful, , , , , ,O.

  • Dancing_Monkey On Tuesday, February 3, 2004, Dancing_Monkey (1288)By person wrote:

    I crumble to the beach to perfect a sand angel and wait for my message in a bottle .. simply the best metaphors evr.. :O) I love it, you allways take my mind a step further ..

  • A former member wrote: Damn man you never cease to amaze me. Not a single wasted line and too many greats in this to praise just one. Awsome. ~Ship!

  • flying_fox On Sunday, February 1, 2004, flying_fox (596)By person wrote:

    the last stanza really ties it all together beautifully. Great imagery, I loved reading this. FF

  • maddin foxxxy On Saturday, January 31, 2004, maddin foxxxy (363)By person wrote:

    I see all these images and metaphors you describe, but mostly I feel this peace and release after reading this...perfect description of what you are feeling and developing in your mind.

  • purr_verse On Friday, January 30, 2004, purr_verse (1038)By person wrote:

    "they parade and drown in hollow waters" is especially lovely, but the whole piece is wonderful. the ending is fabulous. :) purr

  • Drifter On Thursday, January 29, 2004, Drifter (277)By person wrote:

    Very impressed... Third stanza rocks.

  • Recycled On Thursday, January 29, 2004, Recycled (98)By person wrote:

    Yep. You are elite. Now start posting more often.

  • A former member wrote: "I breathe echos into sails just to stay afloat".. Absolutely beautiful. Stunned me. I am impressed to no end.. ~Wish Upon A Star


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