Such is life

Words cut like a knife. And alcohol to fuel the burn. Actions that reveal the lies, apologies have lost their meaning. Such is the life with an alcoholic. Arguments made, tears cried. Hope after hope that this is the last time. Knowing that it will never be the last time. Raging thoughts run through my head,anger clouds my eyes. Hot tears of frustration run down my face. My heart is running wild, thump thump, in my chest. My hands shake, I hold the together wishing it would end. Wanting the end to come and in anguish when the end is never in sight. I was a proud person at one point in time. Now I don't even know who I am. I was a lover, but now forced to be a fighter. I do t want to fight anymore. I am so very tired now. I just want the end, no matter how good or bad, to come so that I can just lay down and sleep for eternity. The fates seemed to have decided that I wasn't intended to have a happy life. The fates have decided to sit back and watch me crumble. Will I simply be a pile of ash when all is said and done? I am tired of fighting, tired of arguing, tired of broken promises that have caused me to break my own promises. I just want it all to be over. Maybe before nights end I will be sleeping peacefully for the rest of eternity, k owing that I am safe and that nothing can hurt me any longer. Such is the life and death with an alcoholic.