An addict's cry

By SleepingDead

Author's note: This poem was written a few years ago when I was battling a nasty opium/alcohol addiction.

I don't consider this poem my best, or 'good' by any means but, when I reread it after so many years, it spoke to me about my own personal addiction.

I've been clean for over a year now.

I'm posting this in hopes that maybe someone/anyone going through the same thing or even something similar will read this and it will speak to them as well.

To those that this poem personally speaks to.. the life that you're living is not worth living. There's something better out there for you.

You're better than this. Reach out. There's at least one person who wants to see you better.

And if you feel that no one cares, I do.

I have never felt a love like opium
Not one before or after
No one makes me feel the same
Nothing has ever felt so real

I packed my love into one little pill
My hatred melts away
I feel like I'm getting away with a victimless crime
When the real victim is me

I tell myself, 'Tomorrow'
'I will face it all'
'I'll get it all together..'

The inky blacks of your existence
Leak out at your most vulnerable moments
Waterfalls of pitch
Toxic rainfalls brought on

But unholy clouds rain down
And scream and scream and scream
Scream your every mistake in your ear
Every flaw, every fault, absolutely everything wrong with you

'Just one little dose.'
You tell yourself
'And it all goes away..'
'But only just for today..'

Today fades into tomorrow
Tomorrow fades into nothing
And nothing becomes just a blur within your memory
And now you're just falling asleep

Just an addict
I'm just another statistic
That has sold their soul
To a pharmaceutical devil

I am what you made me.
I am what I made myself.

I am what I'm meant to be.
Just to be happy.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2019 SleepingDead
Published on Friday, August 9, 2019.     Filed under: "Reflective" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "An addict's cry"

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  • Hate Everyone On Sunday, August 11, 2019, Hate Everyone (7)By person wrote:

    Addiction is a cruel, unforgiving monster, and kudos to anyone that finds and follows the path to recovery. I spent 30 years in a bottle, and owe my entire life to a woman who saw the real me through the alcohol. I've been sober now for 8 years. I congratulate you on the victory of recovery. Continue to look ahead.

  • 13sonsofgod On Friday, August 9, 2019, 13sonsofgod (621)By person wrote:

    Myself as well, my lady, 25 years of it. A year as r for me as well, and as you well know it's a vicious controls everything we are and year and I still suffer endless nights, legs swims, not being able to get comfortable, sleep 15 to 29 minutes at a time, so exhausted by day break i collapse for my longest rest...yes i also know of it's toll, my only son of on banging ice..sadly after being clean for a year and making a fatal choice to do it just one more time...he was only's one hell of a demon to deal with....anyway, it is my pleasure to meet you, . And keep yourself clean !... your write is truth, one we both well know, my work is very different here, as i am and have always been very spiritual....check my work out and you will understand...I walk my own path, and am not concerned in pacifying others lies or deceit, and can see through most, you I sense, are much as like, enjoyed your write, 13......

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