Post Surgery Confusion

By Commander_Cadaver

Blurring madness
Shrieking pain
Blinding light
Is this Hell?
Is this my paradise?
"Nur..." I try to say
But my voice is barely audible.
"Nuuuuurse!" I yell without
Telling myself to.
Is it the pain?
Is it what ever is pumping
In my system while
I was under the knife?
Either way, it worked.
"Pain...the pain," I tell her.
She nods and presses a button.
Before slumber overcomes
Me, I feel the sweet relief
Of Morphine.

More blinding light.
More mind shattering pain.
More...everything.
My senses and nerves are
Shooting off at everything
While other areas are
Completely numb.
This confusion is interrupted
By a can of Ginger Ale.
I drink from the straw like
A man stranded in Death Valley.
It's there,
I can feel it, but I can't taste it.
I look at the nurse who in turn
Looks at me and nods.
With a press of a button,
I'm once again taken away
On a sightless journey.

Awake, but this time in a
Different room.
The waiting room...I think.
When did I get here?
Who dressed me?
Did I dress myself?
I don't remember much of anything
Except the pain.
As if waiting for me,
The pain in my skull rushes back
To me.
Throbbing, searing,
Burning pain.
Deep breaths, Justin.
Deep breaths.
Some papers signed.
Some questions answered.
And I'm wheeled out of the doors.

Everything is a blur still but
My mind is capturing moments
Like a camera.
Almost to my mother's where
I'll rest.
Rest...
Rest sounds good.
I think I'll rest now...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2019 Commander_Cadaver
Published on Friday, July 26, 2019.     Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Just had a mastoidectomy on my left ear on Tuesday. Not my first rodeo but man it never gets easier.
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Comments on "Post Surgery Confusion"

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  • Shikiryu On Saturday, July 27, 2019, Shikiryu (70)By person wrote:

    This is a real terror of mine, I wish you the best and thanks for sharing

  • Dilated View On Saturday, July 27, 2019, Dilated View (583)By person wrote:

    I've been fortunate in that my only surgery ever needed was my appendix. But I absolutely remember the confusion. For me it was tough because I was in California for work and my closest family were over a thousand miles away and then when I was able to be released they demanded that someone come pick me up. Except everyone I knew was at work and we worked 16+ hour days. And the pain meds they gave me only made me want a cigarette that much more and there was nothing to do so that was all I was focused on, singing "I want nicotine I want nicotine like a mantra" until a work friend was able to show up after me begging just so that they could wheel me out to the parking lot where I stood up, hopped in my own car, and drove home. Hope that recovery goes well and you don't need anything in the future. Hospitals are scary places. And like you said "who dressed me" and, in my case "and who shaved my pubes??" Haha, thanks for sharing!

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