...Scarecrow Junkies

By SolApathy

The intensity of my high was my goodbye
Once you had meaning, once the world was teaming
Ideas & ideals
All that’s left are cocaine dreams
How fuffilling they all seem

My clown balloons are filled with my heroin doom
Decay
And yet I wrapped this tourniquet everyday
Deeper into my high
Delving into this bottomless sky 
Mornings of mourning as I feel the cold sweat alarm
Out on the streets –Looking for money to do myself harm
Just a 20 or 40, Please a 100 and I’ll love you, too
Shaking I wait
Dealer of darkness and doom—Yet he’s my savior
I’ll be flying soon
Just need un-collapsed vein
One not shredded so I can inject the bliss
I remember when it was you, me and just some Mary Jane
But she could never erase the pain
I need my debauchery of decay and ecstasy
Once, long ago I started
Diamorphine hydrochloride when I still had a job
Now black tar will do
Melted down—Injected between my toes
It’s the only place left to go
Abused, used -- no purpose in life left to pursue
I inject before the daylight dies
Maybe tonight will be my best high
Maybe this morning was my last cold-sweated cry
I defiled my friend’s suboxone try
Selling it just so I could again, get high
Fuck it now I don’t really care
I was beautiful once—Now I’m just the scarecrow junkie
Just for a 20 to get me by
I’ll do anything and I no longer even cry
I’m not the one you used to know
Her soul leaked out of all the needle holes
All that's left is this high I can't let go



..Dedicated to my friend who took drugs as her way, out...

Contest entry for: What We're All About.



 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2019 SolApathy
Published on Monday, February 11, 2019.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...Heroin is my abyss of pleasure and pain--Withdrawals were my soul crying out in pain...
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