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Gnarled
By Roxxi
Guitar strings shape his veins
Supple leather forms his skin
Thirteenth stepping is very simple here
Blue marbles set his eyes
White silk flows his hair
You cloud my mind with vapor
Take away my power to refuse
I'll happily let you make a fool of me
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
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Copyright 2018 Roxxi
Comments on "Gnarled"
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On Friday, February 15, 2019, Jonas Robinson
(925)
wrote:
Wow, that's hard. It's good to feel some relief with words. I like this because of the word flow and a particular feel of vocabulary which you brought to this one. :)
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On Monday, February 11, 2019, Phalanx
(514) wrote:
That was really nice. I like the imagery and the longing I felt in this. Very nice work.
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On Friday, January 4, 2019, bpathos
(88) wrote:
Howdy, recovery is better than no recovery. Truly, I wish you the best. Welcome to DP. Writing is good for the writer and reader. Thank you.
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, Sorrowful Jester
(124) wrote:
And one last thing. DO NOT add verses just as filler in series. Don't ruin a good poem, if you don't have more good ideas by adding mediocre verses to make it longer. I do it sometimes, and I hate myself for doing it. Good job!
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, Roxxi
(22) wrote:
Thank you so much for your help and tips. You are very kind.
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, Sorrowful Jester
(124) wrote:
I'll bookmark this one so that I re-read it later, because I'm in no condition (in my opinion) of judging poetry. So I could give you my opinion on it --more constructive critique that just "I liked it". That is if you'd like to, I've been looking for one but I only criticism that contains no arguments or reasoning especially for the little things (why you chose this word instead of that word, et cetera). Surely, I guess that even "I love it" / "I hate it" type of comments help. Also trying to interpret you work is a sign that someone really read it, but they don't help me as much as the critique I'm looking for.
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, Sorrowful Jester
(124) wrote:
Thank you for sharing a poem full of metaphors / symbolisms with us. A lot of us have been there, and this one brings feeling and memories in mind better than pictures / videos / et cetera. I wish EVERYONE (including you, your family / friends / et cetera) a happy new year. May all of your wishes come true (be it health, true love, true happiness, et cetera). Just keep in mind that money / fortune is not the means of acquiring those, but could be used as; tool to acquire them. We seek fortune only in favor something else, because fortune will not bring us any goods by itself, but only when using it --whether is it for the support of the body, or of any other similar reason. Now, the highest good is sought for it's sake and not for the sake of something else. So this essentially means that fortune is not the highest good of humans.
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, SolApathy
(521) wrote:
In the hollow confines of a needle we've used too many times, we dream of one more drop---Never thinking for a moment to stop. The thoughts that brought us here would return and we'll do anything to keep them from getting near...Clarity is our deepest fear. Good write, though I would like to see more, it just feels like you have much more to say. Love the title btw! two poems with the same name on the same night. That is pretty cool.
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, Sorrowful Jester
(124) wrote:
I'm not sure if your comment was good or bad for me. Made start making crazy thoughts again. Although it's a comment that brings hope. Maybe de-evolution (an oxymoron term that I tend to use often lately) isn't happening after all. Maybe I just chanced upon the wrong kind of people. Also I was wondering about that "2 poems with the same name; the same night": are they by the same person? If not, it's pretty common for people who've been writing for a long time, but just found the courage to publish their work. Took a decade to post any of my work (part of it being I'm a bad poet), and around 6 years to start using a real photo of myself.
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On Tuesday, January 1, 2019, Sorrowful Jester
(124) wrote:
I usually don't like it when people try to interpret poems. Spoils most of the fun for me. This comment though I don't mind. Been there, done that. Good poem, great comment!
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On Monday, December 31, 2018, Roxxi
(22) wrote:
Thank you for your helpful advice. I'm working on expanding this but unfortunately it's a slow crawl. I'll keep adding to it as time marches on.
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