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...Escaping the Fugue
By SolApathy
...You
must listen as you read...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWChhdIgT6Q
I sit here -- gun in hand
In denial of where I am
How did this steel tempt me to no longer feel?
I think there is no way this can be real
All alone as I take my final breath tonight
In some way I feel relief from my strife
Telling me it’s time as I pray for no afterlife
Look to my arms and see scars of this life
X-acto blade memories under dim bathroom lights
An inch for every year of hell --The stories these walls could tell
A victim of my own blistered mind
I feel the trigger as the final minutes unwind
I know the pills ”helped” me for so long
But what is life as a zombie –I couldn’t even sing a song
life in a fugue state is something you can’t equate
Unable to express smiles or hate
The drugs--My soul they castrate
In a prison you don’t know you are in until you escape
Chaos of the world I cannot endure
I searched so long for the cure
The meds eviscerated my very soul
Knowing now I must go
Metal so unfeeling and cold—How can it relate
I pull the trigger and seal my…Fate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWChhdIgT6Q
I sit here -- gun in hand
In denial of where I am
How did this steel tempt me to no longer feel?
I think there is no way this can be real
All alone as I take my final breath tonight
In some way I feel relief from my strife
Telling me it’s time as I pray for no afterlife
Look to my arms and see scars of this life
X-acto blade memories under dim bathroom lights
An inch for every year of hell --The stories these walls could tell
A victim of my own blistered mind
I feel the trigger as the final minutes unwind
I know the pills ”helped” me for so long
But what is life as a zombie –I couldn’t even sing a song
life in a fugue state is something you can’t equate
Unable to express smiles or hate
The drugs--My soul they castrate
In a prison you don’t know you are in until you escape
Chaos of the world I cannot endure
I searched so long for the cure
The meds eviscerated my very soul
Knowing now I must go
Metal so unfeeling and cold—How can it relate
I pull the trigger and seal my…Fate
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
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© 2020 SolApathy
Published on Tuesday, April 10, 2018.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
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