Atop the Land of Diamonds/To Swim or not to Swim

By Candy Cain

I'm tired like a labrat spinning over water when the hazmats cover every corner

My gas tank's spilling and my heartbeats building and I'd hardly call this dry land anymore

and the fire and the snowing has my tires spinning slowly and I close my eyes to make it go away

I'm tired like a labrat spinning over water and I don't know if I'm gonna be okay.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Published on Monday, March 12, 2018.     Filed under: "Lyrics"

Author's Note:

Some lyrics. Supposed to kinda be a folk/anti-folk jam. I blame the Uncluded. Add some ideas or take away some ideas, whatever you will.
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Comments on "Atop the Land of Diamonds/To Swim or not to Swim"

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  • midnights voice On Tuesday, March 13, 2018, midnights voice (1279)By person wrote:

    Many images that are hard for the reader to relate to though they can be easily visualized . This is one that the reader would have to had been there to appreciate . But the feeling of mentalking exhaustion comes through loud and clear . Would have like to hear the music too .

  • Candy Cain On Tuesday, March 13, 2018, Candy Cain (42)By person wrote:

    Oh, thank you for the honest feedback. You're very good at reading the intents I put into things and I appreciate that. Would you suggest I change anything to make the imagery more relatable? Despite the tone of the words, it was actually written to a fast pace, cheery, campfire tune in major, which may have affected it this way.

  • midnights voice On Tuesday, March 13, 2018, midnights voice (1279)By person wrote:

    Sometimes certain situations and emotions can be hard to put into words or expressed . I feel this is one of those moments that o e cannot relate to until it slaps you in the face . Don't worry about changing it for then it is not original . Leave it as is and go to your next poem . And along the way you will get better at expressing those deep ingrained emotions that cause us to write poetry .

  • Candy Cain On Tuesday, March 13, 2018, Candy Cain (42)By person wrote:

    Mm, thank you again for the your supportive words this time.

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