Kill the spider

By SilentStalker







It's there in the corner
Staring at me
On it's sticky platform
Leering at me
It sees my fearful glances
Laughing at me
It moves its wiry legs
Ready to pounce on me

I grab the closest lighter
And aerosol can
I creep up to the f ucker
As close as I can stand
I release a blast of fire
And almost burn my hand
As I jump back from the web
Before the burning body lands

Still alive...
H o l y S h i t...
Kill it now...
This is it...

As I stomp...
On the f ucking...
Spider.

 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Darun Ferguson
Published on Friday, September 26, 2003.     Filed under: "Comedy" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "Kill the spider"

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  • A former member wrote: Funny and creepy... I hate spiders too! :)

  • Alchemist On Saturday, June 15, 2013, Alchemist (688)By person wrote:

    Killed a black widow and a brown recluse today, had a lot of outside cleaning to do for the summer fun in the sun. I kill all spiders I see and I do not like them but I find them one of the most fascinating creatures still I don't want my family to get bit so they have to die.

  • metaphormachine On Sunday, January 20, 2013, metaphormachine (133)By person wrote:

    Hm, okay ... well, to write a poem about to killing one spider, a living creature ... is once something completely different ... But naturally is it a matter of your own opinion if you find it good, funny or meaningful ... For many women, you seem to be a hero. For that ... & for writing the poem of the day ... maybe it could motivating you twice, at least, might you think so, & this motivates me also to a basic comment ... & humor can surely help. Despite everything, you seem to have something done right ... Cheers for your poem & thanks for a new idea.

  • A former member wrote: I hate spiders...great write

  • Star On Saturday, January 19, 2013, Star (920)By person wrote:

    defiantly deserves potd!!! :D congradulations

  • Stephanie Sideways On Saturday, January 19, 2013, Stephanie Sideways (276)By person wrote:

    I had a big smile on my face reading this. It was funny! I am going to post my one about Boris my awesome fly arching shelf spider, who knows best to stay hidden lol.

  • Star On Friday, December 14, 2012, Star (920)By person wrote:

    ok, this has to be the best poem i have ever read.. so far in history... wow.. yes kill the fucking spider :D 10

  • Musik2MyEyes On Saturday, February 27, 2010, Musik2MyEyes (193)By person wrote:

    Hahahahahahaha what a HUGE reaction this got. Gave me the heebee jeebees. I HATE when I think I have smashed them and they pop back up and run away! Holy hell they are made of rubber! YUCK!!

  • A former member wrote: my friend did this once to a black widow in her hottub. (had been emptied for winter) she burned one, went to burn another and that one ran away. when she when to get the other one again thinkin it was dead (he charred a brownish color) he ran away to! wtf!? i hate spiders, kill it! kill it!~moony

  • A former member wrote: Omy jeesh ! too f'in funny ! hahahaha! thanks for the read ! loved it.

  • Dissolving Poet On Friday, August 25, 2006, Dissolving Poet (564)By person wrote:

    I think****

  • Dissolving Poet On Friday, August 25, 2006, Dissolving Poet (564)By person wrote:

    *DEAR GOD You are trying to make it so I never sleep again, this just gave me the creepy crawlys. I was screaming DIE~ DIE YOU FUCKER~ The spider I mean, not you....I don't think;) ~Gothic

  • Dissolving Poet On Friday, August 25, 2006, Dissolving Poet (564)By person wrote:

    DEAR GOD

  • Adam On Saturday, August 19, 2006, Adam (245)By person wrote:

    Hey with this one i know how you feel... its worse when you have Crista kill it (cause she seems to have more figurative balls then me :(!!!) Scholar

  • l mo On Saturday, July 8, 2006, l mo (55)By person wrote:

    you killed the spider! .....i hate spiders.

  • Shadow Fox On Sunday, March 6, 2005, Shadow Fox (20)By person wrote:

    I REALLY hate spiders...they have all those legs and webs...*shudders* they creep me out. burn the bastards, all of 'em

  • Chimauron On Sunday, January 16, 2005, Chimauron (87)By person wrote:

    That's one memory from Korea I never managed to drink away. Yeauch! FUCKIN SPIDERS!!! They would cocoon EVERYTHING!!! Remember the tree in front of the Eagle's Nest? *shudder*

  • A former member wrote: i hate spiders, i hate them i hate them i hate them, but you know what >=) spiders scream when you light them on fire

  • yslehc On Wednesday, December 10, 2003, yslehc (334)By person wrote:

    ahh i've read this before.. lovely write, spiders are scary

  • Midnight Phoenix On Saturday, December 6, 2003, Midnight Phoenix (240)By person wrote:

    I couldn't help but laugh at the scene you described. It felt so comical and serious at the same time.

  • A former member wrote: But I like spiders...as long as they're not biting me. Only things that are allowed to bite me are the ones I tell to...*wink*

  • SilentStalker On Monday, October 13, 2003, SilentStalker (1067)By person wrote:

    ...does that mean I can bite you...I'll just nibble, for now...:) Scholar

  • The Fallen Angel On Saturday, October 11, 2003, The Fallen Angel (235)By person wrote:

    spiders aren't that bad...until they bite of courselol+Fallen One+

  • Dancing_Monkey On Saturday, October 4, 2003, Dancing_Monkey (1246)By person wrote:

    I dont fear them, these weawers.. but I do respect them.. *looks around* realy im not afraid of them.. *gets the chills*

  • Delilah On Sunday, September 28, 2003, Delilah (113)By person wrote:

    I'm arachnophobic too...VERY...although I barely have the courage to kill 'em myself...this shall go to my favorites so that I can look back on it for inspiration when I need to...~Delilah~

  • SilentStalker On Monday, September 29, 2003, SilentStalker (1067)By person wrote:

    Sometimes I wish I had a flamethrower for these things...there's so many around here right now...but I think I'd burn the post down...;) Scholar

  • A former member wrote: hehe - it's cute and made me laugh. Nicely done!! Scholar

  • Liz On Friday, September 26, 2003, Liz (267)By person wrote:

    And now I have to eat my words, because this is just funny as hell. Devilishly good.

  • A former member wrote: Must have been a banana spider. Those fuckers are getting huge this time of year too, wonder what the hell they are eating. Nicely done:) ~Urban Shipwreck~

  • Dancing_Monkey On Saturday, October 4, 2003, Dancing_Monkey (1246)By person wrote:

    There eating my bananas them fucks.. *raises a fist*

  • SilentStalker On Friday, September 26, 2003, SilentStalker (1067)By person wrote:

    How'd you know which kind it was...? Oh yeah...nevermind...yeah, I hate those things... Scholar

  • manywalks On Friday, September 26, 2003, manywalks (750)By person wrote:

    Spiders are, by far, more demonic, vile and evil than even the most warped clown; and I. for one, am just a wee bit terrified of the bloody beasts.

  • Aurora_Light On Friday, September 26, 2003, Aurora_Light (472)By person wrote:

    this is great i hate them too just dont kill a daddy longlegs cuz then it will rain

  • Bloodofdeadpoets On Friday, September 26, 2003, Bloodofdeadpoets (55)By person wrote:

    lol i find thats poem extremely funny , thanks for sharing

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