The Whatevership

By Mute Serenade

“Let’s just let it be
Whatever it is
Cause I don’t know
If I’m ready
For something serious.”
Enter, Stage Left:
The Whatevership!
All dolled up and ready
To dance its way
To a storefront near you.
Fully equipped
With the sweet sweet comfort
Of label-less deniability
Squash those pesky vulnerabilities
With these simple steps
And the Whatevership
Can protect you from catching “The Feels”
You already made your 3 easy payments of $19.95
(Plus shipping and handling)
And we signed on the line
For a worry free existence.
The rules are simple enough
Like a formula drenched in lovers lost
Heartbreak un-mended.
Take the cumulative
Of the love you’ve given plus
The pain you’ve hidden over a lifetime of longing
And apply an equal amount of effort
Into convincing yourself this doesn’t matter.
Your damage dictates your indifference.
It’s a zero sum game
Where we emerge the same save
The quantity of orgasms
And text messages
And saliva
And laughs
And sweat
And delicate conversational intricacies
We add along the way.
But… that’s…
That’s just… whatever…
Because a decided lack of label
Spares us the pain of attachment
The sting of rejection
The reality of intensity
The devastation of what you could steal from me
And the burden of a fluttery little paper folded heart in your hand with my name on it.
Thankfully, those things aren’t possible
Until “you” and “I” become an “us”
And there is no “us” in a Whatevership.
I want my money back
Because my Whatevership
Is malfunctioning
I’m following the steps
With an iron clad, flippant façade
Reinforced by the culmination of my broken pieces
I’ve thrown my entirety into the game
And I was supposed to be bullet proof.
Maybe they sold me a bad vest
Because that growing ache
Feels like something broke through
Left some fragments embedded in sinew.
Someone told me once
That metal works its way to your heart
I can feel it
It’s dragging its way round
When I check my phone
Keep my calendar open (just in case)
Bury my face in a Whatevership scented pillow
And leave an extra towel on the warmer.
It’s getting dangerously close
To more than nothing
Which is something more
Than the Whatevership I was promised.
But I’m outside my warranty
Just wishing
That authenticity wasn’t so taboo
Just wishing
It wasn’t so hard for us
To acknowledge the hearts we’re holding. 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2017 Mute Serenade
Published on Saturday, August 5, 2017.     Filed under: "Love" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "The Whatevership"

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  • A former member wrote: I got married to my ex husband when I was only eighteen years old, and it didn't have a happy ending. Hindsight being 20/20, perhaps I would have been better with a few relationships under my belt before I even attempted marriage. Once again, this is so uniquely you that one could never communicate this dose of reality that you have so beautifully written. Great job, lovely lady! Rebs:).

  • Mute Serenade On Saturday, September 16, 2017, Mute Serenade (471)By person wrote:

    Lol Rebs... I just came out of a 10 year marriage started at 20 yrs old... I know what you mean! :)

  • Purposelessness On Sunday, August 27, 2017, Purposelessness (132)By person wrote:

    Hit a little close to home but well written, flowed so well that I wanted to read more but there's still more of yours I haven't read yet!

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Tuesday, August 8, 2017, TropicalSnowstorm (1709)By person wrote:

    Let me pile on and say this piece was brilliant! :) Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • dwells On Sunday, August 6, 2017, dwells (5706)By person wrote:

    So glad I stopped by to admire the luster of this socio-satirical gem of hard won wisdom. But we go on; because that is what we do best: benumbed, betrayed, and bamboozled. Knowing the ending at the beginning, sadly. Cheers MS for the insights and honesty! - Dan

  • A Dispelled Truth On Saturday, August 5, 2017, A Dispelled Truth (27)By person wrote:

    Your penmanship carries very real weight. "Iron clad, flippant façade reinforced by the culmination...". Very nice piece

  • carlosjackal On Friday, August 4, 2017, carlosjackal (2468)By person wrote:

    Great piece loaded with intelligence and truth.

  • Just Dave On Thursday, August 3, 2017, Just Dave (533)By person wrote:

    Unique style and wording. Enjoyable read. JD

  • Drea On Thursday, August 3, 2017, Drea (1521)By person wrote:

    I kind of want to "Nope" the hell out of this because this is too real. Fuck. Yeah, I think that sums it up.

  • Mute Serenade On Thursday, August 3, 2017, Mute Serenade (471)By person wrote:

    Girrrrllll... this era in dating amiright? Pick them from an online lineup/catalog because people don't leave the house and then both play a game of "who can care the least" otherwise you run the risk of coming off crazy. As if this wasn't already insane to start. Sigh.

  • Bornfrompain On Thursday, August 3, 2017, Bornfrompain (835)By person wrote:

    This was a fantastic read!!! Excellently penned!!! - BFP

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