...Carnal Measures

By SolApathy

I am my own
Antipathy
Misery
Suffering
…And sin
I am the casted darkness your shadow falls within
Sympathy of my sorrow
No longer dulls the phantom pains of a past that can’t escape tomorrow
Haunting your eyes of what remains
Hazel pure, but in the pain- obscured
Knowing never will you piece together
The insanity of all that has gone wrong
Broken behind such peaceful eyes
I run to the rain to disguise the pain I can’t withhold
Smiling with robotic style
The rain protects me from the truth I can’t contain
Your thoughts of me- Just enjoying playing in the downpour
…I know you can’t take me anymore
For this is just a memory of what can be
…No more…
Unseeing-  my anger ignites
In the path of this insidious light
You haven’t the will to fight
A sinister darkness I can’t control
My anger, directed at the universe whole
Why did they build me in this mold?
Broken from the start, yet they gave me a heart
Destined me for inflicting suffering on those I love?
A sick game of carnal pleasure…
Their depravity beyond my measure
They took pleasure in manipulating my thoughts
Breaking everything for which I fought
…Turns in the end; I round a fatal bend
Beyond their vision
In the blind I find their weakness, in kind
Breaking, I will not barter
Their most precious; I slaughter
In the vision of their saddened eyes and pleading cries
I offer no quarter as I rip their very souls from the sky
I know vengeance
 I see it in their eyes
Their need to slay me for their pain, within  
   With a smile, I rip that pleasure from their grasp
Taking my own life, I am at peace
…At last

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2020 SolApathy
Published on Saturday, April 15, 2017.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...In pain I find my peace as my smile slowly retreats
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