Yar Mohammed
By TropicalSnowstorm
When I heard about Yar's death,
I wish I could say it
was devastating, but, rather, it
was more like another
strand breaking...another strand
of a rope holding me
over some abyss the darkness of
which holds some
unknown destination that I don't
yet wish to visit.
One strand broke when the father
and the son stepped
on a mine while out for a nice walk,
I saw them come
in - the son was writhing, the father
looked resigned,
apparently in possession of more
of the facts, knowing
that it was hopeless to writhe against
inevitability...there
is no living to be made for a legless
man in a society
that survives on manual labour.
Another strand broke
the day Burt was shot in the leg,
at first it looked like
he might lose it, but instead he'll
just have a permanent
limp and be unfit for further service
in the field. He
was from the Alabama Group and he
had a cool accent -
although my family is from the same
part of the country,
I moved around so much I don't really
sound like it -
I looked up to him very much and
thought, incorrectly,
that he was bullet-proof. So, one
strand after another
breaks, and although I know there
isn't a limitless supply,
to be honest I can't really see
things very well from here
and I don't know how many strands
are actually left.
Yar was from Panjshir, the valley
of the five lions, which
is the part of Afghanistan populated
by incidental cousins
of John Wayne, where they all talk
slow and are tough as nails.
We spent a short time together,
but I liked him very much and
became fast friends with him - we
smoked the "chelam"
(hookah) many times together and
talked of many things. He
tried to convert me in the cloddish
way of one that has never
had their faith tested - "Why don't
you become a Moslem?
Why don't you say the verse?" I
have had my faith tested
and told him, nicely, that I had
not the slightest belief in the
ways of his namesake, but that I
certainly loved Moslems...
then we swapped adventure stories
and talked of the ones we
did love, he was soon to be wed
to "a beautiful woman from
Parwan." Yar got it just outside
Ghazni, and it isn't even clear
whether it was simply by some bandits,
or the head-bobbing
graduates of some Pakistani Madrahseh
that can't grasp the
fact Afghans don't want "liberation"
from a shot at prosperity
and peace. When it comes, death
isn't noble or grand, bullets
tear apart a recipient's chest and
face, and, like Madam Bovary
discovered (or didn't), vile fluids
bubble up through the mouth,
eyes bulge and with a breathless
gasp, the body shudders.
When he died, Yar had been wed a
little over a month, and
I enquired after his wife, knowing
the market for a twenty
year old woman with no hymen is
a bit limited here, and
not wanting Yar's wife to end up
a beggar or worse. Between
Yar's family and her brother, I
was told, she would be "well"
taken care of. Someone said they
"cried like a baby" when
they heard about Yar, and someone
else put forth "he gave
his life for his country", but that
is the luxury of new-comers
to all of this. For me, although
I wish it were a tragedy and I
could cry like a baby, just another
strand broke and I was very
glad that it wasn't me. The realisation
of that hurts me more
than his death itself, for which
I feel another strand fraying.
I don't know how many strands are
left, I can't see very well
from here, and I don't know if I
fall where I'll end up - home
(where I don't really fit in any
more), or here (where I have
never fit in), or someplace else
entirely. The telling of something
always becomes a story, and telling
about something using words,
based on ones limited prism of understanding,
makes it an invention.
The reporters that told, briefly,
of Yar's death got the story wrong -
if only people could see these "seekers
of the truth" in action, they
would know how frequently, due to
laziness, lack of intuition and
simple hang-over, this happens -
they said "four soldiers were
killed in action near Ghazni in
an early morning ambush". The
real story is, "Yar wasn't a "soldier",
he was just another young
guy that got killed doing his job...just
like I am", and the invention
is, "this is uncommonly tragic,
therefore, it can't happen to me..."
-- by Steve McKennon, September,
19 2003
**For Yar Mohammed, Panjshiri, killed
Sept. 2, 2003
Awards
Comments on "Yar Mohammed"
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On Sunday, May 16, 2021, carlosjackal
(3015) wrote:
Man, this is some awesome personal and poetic dispatches from the frontline. Were you an army medic? Either way, this is great and I feel privileged to be reading this 27 1/2 years later when you have your strands back :)
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On Monday, May 17, 2021, TropicalSnowstorm
(1703) wrote:
I was an advisor to Ministry of Finance for the most part, as well as to the Central Bank and Ministry of Defense for a smaller amount of time. A lot of my work had me traveling around to the provinces. I spent a lot of time in Herat, which was pretty nice. Other places were less put together. : ) I was not in uniform, those guys had it a LOT worse off.
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On Sunday, May 16, 2021, carlosjackal
(3015) wrote:
*despatches *17 1/2 years later in normal years. 27 1/2 years later in Covid Years ;)
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On Monday, May 17, 2021, TropicalSnowstorm
(1703) wrote:
Man, I was just thinking about that the other day... It has been 20 years since 9/11... It doesn't feel like it, but that is how much time has passed. Such a huge chunk of my life and yet it was so long ago. Oh well, I'll just have to keep bathing in blood of virgins to keep myself young so I can be involved in the next round of whatever comes. I'm ready! : )
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On Monday, November 23, 2009, Blood Saga
(81) wrote:
That was so lovely...and so sad.
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On Saturday, February 26, 2005, Dei
(665) wrote:
what it feels like to be dangling from that rope. only in my case a part of me wanted desperatly to let it brake. i was tired of holding on. but im glad it didnt. stay strong. there is always someone that needs you and loves you. LIVE and be strong
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On Saturday, February 26, 2005, Dei
(665) wrote:
this is the first of your works i have read. and i must say i stand all amazed. i have had to bury too many loved ones in the last few years and i understand...
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On Friday, October 8, 2004, Zhee
(529) wrote:
you have such a way with words.. you really brought this alive for me... thanks!
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A former member wrote:
after reading this...i am left with really nothing to say except that its really hard to immortalize someone with words...
but you sir, are quite good at it.
i wonder how many more Yaraa's need a well deserved eulogy.
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On Tuesday, February 3, 2004, Dancing_Monkey
(1246) wrote:
I hope and belive that writing this made you feel better. I shall wipe my eyes now and be happy that I have only my inner war of faith.
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On Saturday, December 13, 2003, DarkPoet
(232) wrote:
Be strong, you will get through it and hopefully find you fit in in the most important ways wherever you happen to end up.
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On Sunday, October 12, 2003, Drea
(1443) wrote:
my mind could never wrap around this grandness of this subject. i was truely touched and it made me cry. I have read this 4 times and each time it becomes more and more sad. i too am sorry for your loss. ~Drea~
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On Saturday, October 11, 2003, Silver Spectre
(90) wrote:
I was very touched by this and i love the way you write it. I am looking foward to reading more and hopefuly with out the loss of course.~Silver
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On Thursday, September 25, 2003, KittyStryker
(711) wrote:
touching tribute... it amazes and infuriates me that people can read such things, or witness them, or even flick through and hear about them on TV... and still be apathetic about politics. ::sigh::
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On Tuesday, September 23, 2003, worm
(1194) wrote:
if all people fighting could read your words of devastation, I believe, that would be enough to have them question their beliefs about their own righteousness... either way, T/S, here's a prayer for your finding some new strands to rest upon... Be Well!
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On Monday, September 22, 2003, diavolessa
(208) wrote:
war is a brutal thing, yet it is just what has made us more human during the times. writing this should have caused much pain, yet it's such a beautiful piece to read...it's eating me up! {dia}
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On Monday, September 22, 2003, Ophelia
(221) wrote:
I have read this a number of times and I keep thinking I only see one side of a tragic war. To be sad at the loss of a friend but happy that it wasn't you, sorry for you loss...........O.
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A former member wrote:
I sometimes realize that each time I lose a friend it becomes easier to write them off and focus on what remains. Incredible write to say the least. ~Urban Shipwreck~
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A former member wrote:
I can't even imagine what it would be like to dangle on those strands, to feel them break and just be happy that they're not all gone...your soul sounds like it's dying, trying to keep itself alive...
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On Monday, September 22, 2003, Delphoid-Q
(213) wrote:
This is brutally honest and must have cost a lot to write. I love it for exposing the truth, regardless of what is expected or of what people wish to hear. That is why I respect you so much T/S. In short – I loved it. Very well done.