...Permafried feelings

By SolApathy

The darkness of what I have become 
Told no one 
Black abyss so far beyond numb 
I couldn't run

Striking out in anger you can’t fathom 
unto myself until I detonate 
...Expose 
a curse on the world you cannot  
Imagine 
Desperate to end myself before I explode 
Expose my malice to the universe 
Blood of innocence shed without repentance 
I am an unstoppable force 
Tried so hard to seek the help I needed to fade 
Now it’s too late… 
 the abyss has eaten my sanity away 
Failed suicide attempts left me betrayed 
Driven by those who laughed at my pain… 
My darkened eyes, smirking as I replay 
a vision of evil you can’t imagine 
a chasm of chaos
permafried oblivion 

I slice my wrists just so I can taste… 
The beauty of copper on my tongue 
My pain transformed into a raging storm 
Tell me I’m too young to exact vengeance on this world? 
Haven’t the taste for what I’m about to do 
 I’m an old soul
trapped in a world I don't understand 

ready to retire through fire and agony 
I will be remembered for the cataclysm  
I wrought upon this world  
Fashioned and framed 
Set in flame to be burned into your soul 
The insanity of the one you didn’t know 
…The quiet one no one understood 
I bring the flood of fear and death 
looking to you, taking your last breath 
remember me?   
The one you wouldn’t free? 
Hammered and tortured every day 
now who is running away? 
screaming and crying 
begging not to be dying 
I would be lying if I wasn’t feeling remorse
...somewhere deep and lost 

Yet I stay my course 
Only option to cleanse my pain 
I bury my faith and set the universe 
….aflame  

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2020 SolApathy
Published on Thursday, January 5, 2017.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

...Reality is the torture we must embrace
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Comments on "...Permafried feelings"

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  • Nemo On Thursday, January 5, 2017, Nemo (77)By person wrote:

    kinda hard to read with the background :) but very good piece of work thank-you for sharing

  • dwells On Thursday, January 5, 2017, dwells (4288)By person wrote:

    It only means that you have a soul my friend SA; so many don't nowadays, and function free of conscience burdens, or baggage of remorse. Pity them and persevere - for that is our penance. Cheers! - Dan

  • sIo On Thursday, January 5, 2017, sIo (926)By person wrote:

    Remarkably like walking face first into a wood chipper.


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