Somewhere New

By SilenttPerception

Most days I don't know what I want.
I want to escape,
I want to stay behind.
I want to leave without a goodbye and disappear into the anonymity of a new life.
I want to keep all the people I have loved locked inside my heart forever.
Maybe, just maybe it would be best to allow the world to swallow me whole and spit me out somewhere new.
I've spent a lifetime growing roots into a place born of misery and swallowing sunshine in an effort to keep myself from choking on the sadness that smothered every single light that threatened to expose this place.
I want everything.
I want to be a mystery to you...untouchable.
A star all to myself a galaxy away from your starved fingers.
I want to love and be loved.
I want to detach myself from the danger of it all, keep myself safe from breaking.
I want to be no one at all, tossed into the wind with the precious gift knowing that new beginnings are underway.
I want to be everywhere at once, breathing new air, shedding my skin with every new city.
I want to be someone.
I want my name to be held in someone's mouth with all the tenderness that adoration brings.
I want to matter in the volatile way that leaves fingertips permanently engraved Into souls.
I am an island unknown to myself,
I am the brick house I've lived in since I was a little girl.
I am simultaneously falling apart and falling together.
I am a daughter of fire,
a descendent of the sea,
my entire being at war with desire and reality.
I want it all to stop spinning...

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Published on Tuesday, July 26, 2016. Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"

Comments on "Somewhere New"

On Sunday, August 13, 2017, Just Dave (457) wrote:

Don't run away. Run toward. Great piece. JD
On Thursday, October 6, 2016, 10 Forty Three (593) wrote:

This really spoke to me. I'm bookmarking this. Well done. - 10:43
On Wednesday, September 14, 2016, Gypsyeighty3 (46) wrote:

Like everyone else has expressed, I felt too that I identified with this so so much. It was such a pleasure and somewhat comforting to read. That I am not the only one who feels like this. You expressed it so well!
On Tuesday, September 13, 2016, MorganaRose (74) wrote:

As I read this it melted into me like my own thoughts. I can identify all too much with this constant contradiction..."of fire and of the sea" and the "war with desire and reality". The descriptive language you used melded this together beautifully.
On Saturday, July 30, 2016, Queazenart (212) wrote:

There's a lot of great things being said in this piece. There's an overwhelming feeling of confusion and frustration that, in my experience, comes with growing up and getting lost while trying to find yourself... God, that sounds cheesy.
On Thursday, July 28, 2016, TropicalSnowstorm (1703) wrote:

Good piece! My fav lines are "I want everything. I want to be a mystery to you...untouchable. A star all to myself a galaxy away from your starved fingers. I want to love and be loved" - I think they capture the duality of your desires well. Ciao, T/S
A former member wrote: Wow, this is amazing. I'm not sure I've ever related so closely to a piece before but these are like words straight from my own mouth. If only I could write them as elegantly as you have, gj