That Time Again

"So it's about that time again! You got any plans this year?" He said to me, a juvial smile plastered on his gleaming face. "I mean you are dating now aren't you? You gonna give that girl some chocolate?" I chuckled somewhat and then shook my head. "Nah man, it's just that time for me again." He looked puzzled before stepping ahead of me and stopping me in my tracks. "What do you mean 'time for you again'? Don't tell me you're a girl!" "Hell no man! Why the hell would you think that?" He laughed before letting me continue on my way, but not before throwing a tease down my way. "Well no matter what happened to you, it's all in the past right? At least that's what you always say to everyone else with problems!"

Ever since he said that to me, I haven't been able to stop myself from thinking about it. All the poems I've written before this, telling myself that I'd be able to get over it somehow. It's not impossible, as I've found out the hard way, but is it really possible to go back to the way you were before? Before I even ask that question though, I guess I have to relate my issue to you the reader.

Last year, eight days from today, I admitted to my girlfriend of almost two years that I had cheated on her with one of our best friends, and on Valentines Day we broke up. I went through a lapse after that, as you can see through my poems dates. I lost my muse, personality, and almost the will to live. I won't go and make it seem like I wasn't the instigator though. I know what I did was wrong, and I won't try to say otherwise, but whar I felt in that moment... How could it have felt wrong? 

So, now it's that time again. It's that time where either I remain stuck in the past, or finally come out of the shell that I've been stuck in for this past year or so... Is it all really in the past now? Can I keep going and finally overcome something that has been holding me back from my full potential, or will I be hypocritical and not practice what I preach. For all I know, both tunnels have light at the end of them, but both are going to be long roads ahead.

And if you still read my poems, then know that I still care for your happiness, because while we may have broken up, you never said anything about losing your Guardian Angel.