Written on the Back of a Recipt for a Cherry Snapple

By tristanjinx

The first time I wrote you a poem,
My hands shook and shook
Wishing that my pen was your body
It felt too much like mine,
Too soft, too smooth
And the ink smeared over the paper,
As though it were eyeliner on a pale face
And that poem hit too close to home,
Even without the words.
So I burnt the paper with my cigarette
As though it really were my skin.

The second time I wrote you a poem,
The wording was clumsy and imperfect.
Like me.
You wouldn't love it.
Like me.
So I tore the paper to shreds,
As though it really were my skin.

The third time I wrote you a poem,
It was about how every time we got high,
Every word out of your mouth sounded likeĀ 
"I'm leaving."
And I thought it would become obsolete.
So I forgot where I put it,
As though I were you,
As though it were really my skin.

The fourth time I wrote you a poem,
I wrote how your hands felt against my body
How your edges met the curves I hate,
How our crime was committed in her bed.
I decided I didn't like it,
So I tried to forget it,
As though it were really my skin.

This is poem number five.
This is what I would call a rough draft
Or kindling.
Or anything but a poem.
It's written in pencil this time,
Because I like the way a pencil
Feels in my hand.
All angles and edges
And it doesn't remind me of my own skin.

And these words are clumsy
And trite
And imperfect
And bold.
They're not good enough for you,
And maybe I'm not good enough for you either,
Because you deserve perfect.
But before you figure that out,
Please take these words
And run the fingers of your heart over them.
As though they were really my skin.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2014 tristanjinx
Published on Tuesday, July 29, 2014.     Filed under: "Love" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Ugh let's not talk about this one ok thank you.~Jinx
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Comments on "Written on the Back of a Recipt for a Cherry Snapple "

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  • soul_versing On Wednesday, April 6, 2016, soul_versing (882)By person wrote:

    _________________. ...I'm speechless. (it's official) --I'm fortunate enough to leave you with the worst review ever. In my justification, I leave you with a 10. ...:) Scholar

  • A former member wrote: Well... fuck. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: This is a beautiful piece.. The emotions put on the paper are very vivid and intense.. One can feel your deep love for him.. And you deserve perfect too.. Thank you for sharing :) Scholar

  • tristanjinx On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, tristanjinx (8)By person wrote:

    Ah, thank you, thank you!

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, TropicalSnowstorm (1703)By person wrote:

    This is a masterpiece! I love the tone and feel of this one, it is vulnerable and sweet. You also manage to be...deftly clumsy with it, which gives it such a genuine, "from the heart" feel. Wonderful, wonderful job! Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • tristanjinx On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, tristanjinx (8)By person wrote:

    That was exactly the feel I was going for. Usually, I write and rewrite until I either give up or have everything as I want it. This time I just decided to write and let it be flawed, because, hell, it's genuine.

  • haunted On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, haunted (851)By person wrote:

    this poem is so fucking good! I love how you refer to the flesh being the emotion you come across, and the flesh is punished metaporically for not really being good enough for him, its genius how you told it. its filled with let down and your quest in poetry to make this a way to express your feelings to him while your thoughts seem unsure and almost regrettable. and its beautiful how you use it in a way to take it out on yourself by directing your regret to the very thing that could express yourself...your poems. reminds me of self harming, in a writing sense. but that's how I kinda saw this. idk, im all over this, its just amazing. awesome!

  • tristanjinx On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, tristanjinx (8)By person wrote:

    Thank you, thank you! Yes, there were some heavy hints toward a history of self-harm. I really appreciate the feedback and I'm glad that you enjoy it!

  • A former member wrote: This is the kind of self respect I wish I could have for myself sometimes. Feeling like there's no need for shame or nervousness about myself. Not comparing myself to someone I could never be. You nailed the feeling.

  • Commander_Cadaver On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, Commander_Cadaver (245)By person wrote:

    Since you don't want to talk about this write...umm welcome back and how are you?

  • tristanjinx On Tuesday, July 29, 2014, tristanjinx (8)By person wrote:

    Apparently I thought it was rougher than it was. Haha. Thank you for the welcome, and I'm doing well, if not being a touch too sappy. Hope you're well.

  • Commander_Cadaver On Wednesday, July 30, 2014, Commander_Cadaver (245)By person wrote:

    Ah even the darkest souls get just a little sappy sometimes. And I'm alright for the most part.

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