Reflections

I sit outside now
waiting on a dog to go
And go up to bed
.
Wondering when or
if I will ask my wife of
very nearly two good Years
.
to let me text the
woman that has destroyed
my life for 17 years
.
I am happiest
when she.talks back, always
Saddest when silent
.
And in physic pain
when she is mad at me. I
must apologize
.
To her husband for
Acting like he was tearing
Out my soul long ago
.
We had issues long
before April but I did
Ignore them until then
.
She has said that I must
ask, I guess that she trusts my
integrity that
.
I broke for her nine
years ago when I moved her
In with my then wife
.
Now I weigh texting
Her against living with my
wife that I still love
.
Doesn't help that I
am a poly soul in a
non poly world...
.
seeing a family
of four where they see sep'rate
Couples, unaware
.
But that I know can
Never be as he hates me
For losing myself
.
And neither my wife
Nor her husband are aware
That we were texting
.
I lost my honor
long ago, sacrificed
To her young ego
.
My integrity
For her last try to get me
My soul hers long ago