In Thrall to the Past

Every time I see an old blue ford
Red is all my mind can absorb
Infested with so much hostility
My hatred of you is consuming

My hands begin to sweat and shake
I  shudder with every breath I take
I fear I might actually combust
Overcome with so much disgust

Your putrid existence makes me sick
I curse the heavens that you exist
Digging my nails into my flesh
Wishing I'd killed you before I left

I was weak when I ran away
Too afraid for my own life to stay
A pathetic excuse for a human being
You took everything away from me

I'm not the same as I was back then
Grew a backbone and thicker skin
Found the voice you tried to take
Reinforced the will you couldn't break

I have never tried to accost you
Never returned with vengeance due
Though rage boils beneath my skin
I vowed to never go back there again

So here I sit in my fear and shame
Trying so hard to forget your name
Unable to confront my tortured past
Will peace ever be mine at last?