Write it out

I told you my darkest secret
Never doubted you'd keep it
Thought I knew you better
Always there through whatever
Now here I am stranded
Couldn't even be candid
Tried so hard just to keep you
Only true friend I really knew
Tossed away without a glance
Though I gave you every chance
Never held back my feelings
I wanted you to know everything
Anger fills up the empty place
Though I show nothing on my face
Won't give you the satisfaction
To know the pain of your actions
Now with nobody on my side
Alone with nowhere to hide
You had been my safe haven
Knowing now I was mistaken
Self loathing and anxious
Lost with nobody to trust
Wanting to taste bitter revenge
But it wouldn't change the end
So where do I go from here?
Nobody to soothe my fears
No way for us to make amends
Never been good at making friends
I want to split at the seams
Break and tear apart everything
But that would only make it worse
And self harm is just a curse
I should let go and shed my tears
Work through my worry and fear
Get past this painful lesson
Not fall into a useless depression
But then I get a glance of your face
It spins me down into an ugly place
The blade starts to look better
Though I resist it altogether
Grit my teeth and push forward
I can't let you take over
Grab some paper and a pen
I'll write until I'm well again