Russian Roulette

By Malice In Wonderland

Color me hopeless

Weak and woeful
Trigger fingered tourrettes syndrome
tasting metal on my lips
and my shattered attempts
at everything

I have
blown away
so many futures
that 
it seems that
my past will swallow me whole

Shadowfingered 
Serpents
gliding among the bullet casings of
so many failed attmepts
to find
that ever elusive
light in the shadows

I found that light
once
curled my fingertips around it
and it thawed
what was once frigid and cold.

but I 
tenaciously intent
on self sabatoge
it seems
could only 
squeeze the trigger
wallowing
in the shower of broken glass to follow.

subliminally
I must enjoy bleeding

the feeling
of my heart
spilling from my eyes.
The fear
of what could have been
lighted corridors
and smiling faces

because
My hands
still hug cold metal
and the trigger
still clicks
four years
blank with flashes
of the most beautiful light
I've ever seen

Blown to bits

Crushed
by my graceless dark

and I've still got two chambers left.

 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2013 Ashe
Published on Saturday, December 7, 2013.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

I suck at life.
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "Russian Roulette"

Log in to post comments.
  • Numbers Peppelini On Wednesday, January 1, 2014, Numbers Peppelini (76)By person wrote:

    Nicely written. Sometimes I am held to the fact that there really is only a "now." It would be mere folly to suggest that what we do with it will determine our future. Yet something extraordinary happens to me when I become mindful in it. Again....You make me mindful through the suffering of your subject. , Thanks so much

  • inhisbelly On Sunday, December 8, 2013, inhisbelly (39)By person wrote:

    "I have blown away so many futures that it seems that my past will swallow me whole" resonated with me the most, in the guilt-laden depths of my spirit. I felt such a powerful misery throughout this, and my mind was quiet and defeated at the conclusion. Intensely chilling. Thank you for sharing.

  • infinitebeing On Sunday, December 8, 2013, infinitebeing (80)By person wrote:

    very intense.. I could feel ur words in this write. thank u for sharing :)

  • Devilish On Saturday, December 7, 2013, Devilish (2662)By person wrote:

    so many failed attmepts to find that ever elusive light in the shadows.... now this is fucking poetry. fuck me. gave me chills and reminded me of why i am so in love with your words... Scholar

Contribution Level

Poets Bookmarking This Work
Malice In Wonderland's Favorite Poets
Malice In Wonderland's Favorite Works
Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]