Gaslighting Baby

By Maladroit

The nicest thing my mother ever said to me was,
"I don't think you are capable of loving someone in an all consuming manner."

Now,
don't you dare judge her parenting-
She said this with eyes of acceptance,
matter-of-facts,
spread out on purple carpet
by a garden tub that bathed my tears in champagne-
She spoke comfort,
Swaddles of,
"It's okay to be different."

While your underhanded mother
smiled lies at short-fell merits-
certificates of an almost academic achiever;
and had you back-tucking for gold medals
that never shine brighter than her peers..

My mother?
She's much wiser.
She took my soul by the jugular,
turned my poetry upside down,
watched me claw for a defense,

and then she told me she loved me anyway..

the following years
have been filled with balloons in a box,
delivered at random-
bath tub crayons to write love notes in your showers,
100 inked inside jokes,
obsessions and sentiments to freckles and sleep apnea,
bubble gum machine rings of renewal
and
and undying pursuit to NOT have to say,
"I love you."
Effortless commons,
tossed all over the place-
I want to give you everything
that sounds and smells
feels and looks
lingers and haunts-
echoes, so deep and so great
that it deems the other one-line sentiments like dry dirt

but oh-
I will stain you-
much like the red mud you tracked through your own mother's home-
trailing my affections
in every step
for the rest of your walking career
until it becomes what buries you
in another common term-
Rest in Peace




I am not angry with the nicest,
most malicious,
bone cutting thing my mother ever said to me-
I praise her-
(as the divergent child)
because she was partly wrong-

I do have the capability to love
but
I should wake up everyday focusing on the expansion of my capacity-

and I ask you-
Do you know of a better pursuit?
If your answer is academic or wealth-

your mother?

..Isn't as wise as mine


but I bet she loves you anyway.....

 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2013 Maladroit
Published on Saturday, August 31, 2013.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "Gaslighting Baby"

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  • Star On Wednesday, May 10, 2017, Star (1268)By person wrote:

    this made me ache in the most beautiful of ways. i applaud you.

  • Casus Belli On Wednesday, May 10, 2017, Casus Belli (9)By person wrote:

    The very essence of art. You humble most of us here with words like these. Thank you.

  • Sketso On Wednesday, February 5, 2014, Sketso (455)By person wrote:

    I doubt I can say anything that hasn't already been said... but even so, this piece was a powerful punch in the gut. It's not politically correct at all, which instantly creates a bit of fascination. The world seems to focus on "warm fuzzies" and just doesn't realize how the pokes and jabs help us become stronger. Parents face the toughest decisions in the world, and all of 'em screw up something at some point in time, if not everything. My own mother certainly never pulled any punches, and I *own* the world in which I walk, now, because I know the truth of things. As a father... well... I hope I'm doing right by my own children as well. Thanks for this write.

  • ApawnINgameS On Monday, January 13, 2014, ApawnINgameS (26)By person wrote:

    You do have a way with words, don't you. A subtle sort of screaming, a pleasant balanced duality. Many short statements that can be read on their own, but all integral parts leading up to the final insult. You manage this well, and I commend you on your marriage of skill and harsh truth. Not to mention that I just plain liked it too. You should write more, I would enjoy reading them. Much love ~Rich

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Sunday, January 12, 2014, TropicalSnowstorm (1709)By person wrote:

    "She took my soul by the jugular, turned my poetry upside down, watched me claw for a defense, and then she told me she loved me anyway.." Wow, those lines really hit home. This is a powerful piece with a lot of insight… Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • Phalanx On Tuesday, September 3, 2013, Phalanx (516)By person wrote:

    She definitely wasn't trying to fill your head full of shit and you became stronger by her doing so. She must love you very much. You got gut's. Keep them burning. Thank you.

  • dwells On Sunday, September 1, 2013, dwells (5719)By person wrote:

    That Georgia red clay can be pesky. Always felt like "unconditionally" was a term meant for robots maybe. Deeply delicate, cheers!

  • Strataic On Sunday, September 1, 2013, Strataic (154)By person wrote:

    I have not the skill to comment on such a master crafted piece, that is all. Thanks. Scholar

  • FadedBlues On Sunday, September 1, 2013, FadedBlues (2965)By person wrote:

    ...they gain wisdom over the years. we might not appreciate it, but that doesn't make them any less wise...

  • Devilish On Sunday, September 1, 2013, Devilish (3784)By person wrote:

    I couldn't stay away from you if i tried like i said the very first time i read you . where the fuck did you come from. brilliant and my mother told me once.. to air is human .. what is your excuse?.. i still don't have one.. bows poet. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: this is absolutely amazing. a lot of the lines in this had such philosophical truth embedded within them. just perfect. Scholar

  • tmanzano On Saturday, August 31, 2013, tmanzano (229)By person wrote:

    Coddling a divergent child can have its... Pitfalls, one that your mother seemed to have navigated gracefully. This is a masterful write. One the echoes and reverberates the soul of both the mother and the child. I for one, have not had the privilege to be embraced by its doctrine. Gaslighting... How very apropos. I mean to backhand you in that champagne bathtub. Jealousy has no bounds of beseech. Your mother was as wise as one that can be called just that...and for this, and the read, I am renewed as one of divergence.


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