I Shit and I Spit, But I Can't Quit

By Poetic-Realm

we've all trapped ourselves within ourselves.
solid walls made of concrete and bone marrow
and we don't see the cracks,
 
we don't see the way out. 
Drop the wall,
I dare you.
I've done it,
and you know what I saw?
do you know what awaited me in my victory?
 
Another damned wall 
except this one was spray painted
with a smile
and a little quote at the bottom saying
 
"drop the wall, I dare you." 
so I became upset
and sat down,
staring at it.
I became so sad and lost
realizing that the smile only gets bigger
 
and the taunts within myself only become stronger. 
"Drop the wall, I dare you."
it haunts me, I sit and stare
sit and stare.
I can't backtrack anymore, my feet have fused with the ground
I try to make my tears relinquish them, but it only made the soil stronger;
 
furthering my will to stay. 
I fight and crawl, but still I remain
and I learn to write my little notes on the wall
to cope with the deadness of my internal setting.
they say, "this wall aint so bad, right?"
"I like the smile, over time it jokes with you, not at you."
"my feet feel like roots and my arms feel like branches."
 
but still there is no movement. 
One day I see a fault in the smile
I realized I was such a fool
for not looking hard enough before.
inside the teeth, there was a little hole
and I could peer through
 
and see what awaited me on the other side. 
there was a small box, green with gold-woven lines through it
and my need to get over this wall became
nothing of a question anymore.
The first step was my feet
I had to figure out how to get them out,
 
and find somthing to replace them with. 
I pulled and strangled my ankles,
but brute force was not the answer.
so I scratched my head
and felt little pebbles drop down.
all of my strands of hair became seeds
and they took place of my feet and pushed them out
as wilted flowers.
 
my dead cells saved my alive ones. 
so there I stood, atrophied legs and all
and I started exercising, inside this dark place.
I knew I needed to be strong to get past this wall,
 
I knew I needed to hold my ambition higher than my fear. 
And when the day came to drop my wall
I forgot that you need more than good intentions,
you need a plan. So I reached into my pocket
and I found a spoon.
I carved and carved away at this wall
making imprints of Holy beings and lustful women
 
and eventually the wall crumbled within its backbone. 
oh what a sigh of relief I gave
to finally be smiling at the crumbled failure.
I almost forgot about the box
so I searched the floor
picking up large pieces of psychological brick
and unearthing my prize
but it wasn't there,
the wall tricked me
it was not a hole that showed through the brick
only a mirage of myself
being foolish enough to think
 
that there ever is a prize at the end 
and I looked up ahead of me
and this wall, ohhhh this fuckin wall
was made of titanium and had a passcode on the side
not of numbers, not of shapes, just blank buttons
and each time I pushed one, a new one sprung up below
 
and a little voice said, "Drop the wall, I dare you." 
the confusion I felt cannot be explained
all I could do was sit and stare
 
sit and stare. 
 we've all trapped ourselves within ourselves
and each wall has a new set of challenges
meant to hurt us and break us down
meant to make our feet stick in the soil
meant to always remind us
that we will always be stuck in a certain way,
but you should never stop seeing
what the next wall unearths
within yourself.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2013 Poetic-Realm
Published on Monday, May 13, 2013.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Since Summer donated to the cause I decided to repost one of her favorites from when I first joined this site. Hope you guys enjoy and see how my writing has changed over the years.
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Comments on "I Shit and I Spit, But I Can't Quit"

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  • A former member wrote: Goddamn this is good. Like your style.

  • daiglepoems On Sunday, March 2, 2014, daiglepoems (95)By person wrote:

    I've been banging my head on that fucking wall for years. It never occurred to me to use a spoon. You're a genius.

  • Stephanie Sideways On Wednesday, May 15, 2013, Stephanie Sideways (276)By person wrote:

    I have not read much of your stuff, but I am in love with this one as well as the other I read earlier. I too am on a little journey of poetry. I will read your earlier stuff to compare. So this is an earlier piece. ?

  • Poetic-Realm On Thursday, May 16, 2013, Poetic-Realm (258)By person wrote:

    I have been writing since about 2009 (18-19) or so, and I joined this site in 2010. I have left this place before and taken my poems with me, but I have stuck around for a bit this time.

  • A former member wrote: this one hit home! rare do i read one that i can relate to so much. great read ! keep em comin!

  • A former member wrote: This work really does convey an eternal ever growing internal struggle. I think your metaphorical use of the walls are absolutely flawless. A spectacular poem, near enough took my breath away.

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