what do i really want

By BetaWolfinVA

I want children of my body and blood
.
I want to love them, raise them to be themselves
.
i want to be loved by *Raven*
.
i want to be happy
.
the only reason that i stay with *Gaia* is she does not want me to leave
she is trying so hard to keep me
.
i am unhappy,
i will always be unhappy, i think
.
no other woman can hold me
i miss *Raven* more and more each day, i hope that she continues to talk to me
.
i am loosing my mind, and it is keeping me up late
.
i love you *Raven*, and i always will, i wish that i was one of your men, maybe some day. i just wish that i had the courage to tell you how much i love you and need you, every single day, and how i feel as i miss you more and more each day.
.
i love you *Friend*, and i hope that you find a way out of your marriage and someone to love you as you deserve, maybe *Your Desired One* will come back to you after you tell him you are free... but it doesn't always work out that way. five and a half hours isnt so far away, but we will both be thinking of others. but the cuddles would be very nice
.
i love you *Gaia*, i hope that you allow yourself to be happy some day, without me... i cannot reach you, your weight won't let us be pregnant...i hope that you find someone to love you as you deserve

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright Thursday, 28 March 2013 HHMCameron
Published on Thursday, April 4, 2013.     Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

i really am fucked... let the beatings commence...
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Comments on "what do i really want"

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  • Intoxicating Delirium On Tuesday, May 14, 2013, Intoxicating Delirium (275)By person wrote:

    I've never been the type for leaving, Its the hardest thing to do to walk away. Good luck!

  • BetaWolfinVA On Monday, June 10, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795)By person wrote:

    Love is where you find it, and, sometimes, you find that you never get shut of the love that found you, unlooked for Scholar

  • M Morgan On Thursday, April 25, 2013, M Morgan (198)By person wrote:

    Oh! How difficult is share is 2 worlds, completely different s. On one you have a sweet love on other a cruel and real love. That hurts but you have to deal with it . WOW! I think the world wants so much of us....

  • BetaWolfinVA On Monday, June 10, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795)By person wrote:

    neither love is sweet, and both failures can be laid at my feet, yet again slowly failing to "love the one you're with" Scholar

  • A former member wrote: fitting title... I find nothing in the work you really want, not for yourself anyway. and what you say is for you is a far reach at best because you wouldnt be happy being "one of her men"... the way you care through the piece reflects you, selfless... you know, you must learn to love yourself before you could truly love another... hope you find that one day. very good write. Scholar

  • BetaWolfinVA On Monday, April 22, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795)By person wrote:

    i often feel that i am very selfish, and cruel, glad that you found my scribbles interesting :) Scholar

  • harlequinn On Thursday, April 4, 2013, harlequinn (9)By person wrote:

    I empathize with you. I was In the same situation a few months ago, but it passes. Amazing job.

  • BetaWolfinVA On Sunday, April 7, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795)By person wrote:

    Thank you.. my neurosissuch is that I have only quit one job no matter how much I hated it.... It has been the same with relationships, no matter how much I loved someone else (always raven) I was not allowed to leave the relationship unless the other did first. Scholar

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