The Lies we tell ourselves

By BetaWolfinVA

i lie to the world
every time that i do not
tell you i love you
i tell my friend i love her
i tell my wife i love her
.
do i hope that you
do not know that i still care
that i dream of you
that every single text from you
tears my heart open anew
.
but i know that i
would fall apart faster still
should i not text you
should you die i will join you
and i have known this long since
.
life without you not
to me all that worth living
world without you not
a world i can survive in
you are forever my heart

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Published on Tuesday, April 2, 2013. Filed under: "Haiku" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

yeah, another declaration of undying love for the woman i cannot tell to her face or text her my love because i am bounded by her marriage and mine.

Comments on "The Lies we tell ourselves"

On Wednesday, April 10, 2013, dalphon (70) wrote:

if you are unhappy, then you are doing it wrong... if it makes you happy -- just do it-- society can't tell you what is right for your soul, they can't even realize what is right for their own.... just my thoughts. and if you love someone, let them know, open and honest, holding it back is like drinking poison, each sip kills you a little more.
On Monday, April 22, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795) wrote:

telling her i still love her made her feel awkward, I wonder why she still responds.. but take what i can get
On Tuesday, April 2, 2013, dwells (4285) wrote:

I think the raven might be saying "nevermore" brother. Sometimes we can't get a do-over, and as time goes by it usually leaves us with only self-doubts and unrequited love. Always better in the recollection, and you are making yourself crazy in the process, cheers!
On Tuesday, April 2, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795) wrote:

Whaats making me crazy is two conflicting imperatives.... both fall under "always loyal" i told raven, all those years ago, that i would come running should she need my help, but would not break up a relationship for her... but i was lying to my self then... (if only i had chosen happiness instead of hubrise in all the years since) all i know is that i could not tolerate the thought of not texting raven for the rest of my life, i tried, and it very nearly broke me...
On Tuesday, April 2, 2013, haunted (850) wrote:

awe this is dedicated and devoted to love. ive fallen in love with the other woman, and i honestly learned a thing or two about myself and the journey that love takes you. i loved another because she offered what mine did not but in the end it made my relationship with my first love stronger because as they say....dont know what you got..till its gone. the lesson learned for me is a peice of ass is just that and love is much stronger when its all done. well im rambling cameron but i loved your poem. hopefully you make the right choice. awesome!
On Tuesday, April 2, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795) wrote:

I knew what I had when my first love left me.... but i had avoided her as much as i could as society demanded at the time... now, society again demands that i avoid her... FML
A former member wrote: It's beautiful, I don't even know what to say.. But thanks for sharing it's amazing
On Tuesday, April 2, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795) wrote:

Glad that you enjoyed this :)