-Madness The Mouse; Part 1, Shadows of a Gunslinger-

By sTr8-jAcKeT

Madness was of many things, his cape was black as coal,
He scrounged at bottles cast aside, sand-blasted into gold.
His eyes like fires, never seen; embers...moaning cinders...
A spine made alien from metal mending, cyber splendors.

Scars or modifications running rampant through his heart,
Computer chips & CPUs, rebooting [brain] on every start.
Failure's not an option that the factory puts in,
Or brings us to this planet; baring eager, guilty sin.

You see; Madness was a mouse that liked to tear open his caves,
Gnashing at the veins of gold, inside his rants & raves.
Yearning for his Midas, he embraced the amber dust,
The city of a broken mind; still-caverns bleeding rust.

The tumbleweeds of tureen dreams; just shivers, once attached,
To growing rampant vines, now choking victims of your past.
Strands of heat from burning sands, curvacious distant hills,
Engulfing furnaced fantasies; blazing fuel in every thrill.

Consuming ghost-like visions, nightmares; gripping, zombie hands,
Mortify the richeous, shackled-chains across the lands.
These were all the people, that had lived within the trees,
Quite like him; it's eery... can't he see they're never pleased?

So in this story, as it's said; our hero will be cast,
Into the smiles of Abyss & conscience universal blasts.
"Madness!  Madness!  Come old friend!" I remember saying,
"You're the first of life I've seen since the giant started slaying."

At first I wasn't nice to me, we both adjusted to ourselves,
And within our desperate lives we each hung mirrors on the shelves.
There's so many hollowed, crystal hallways; haunting hours endless run,
The light so bright, they'd fry your eyes; cooked barely over done.

Well Madness in this wild trip, soon saddled up revenge,
And coaxed himself from nervousness, a habit's clutching binge.
Spirit-spirs upon his boots, he loads pistols with his dreams,
Now weilding power greater than Olympus trickled streams.

Through thousands of his wars; he's maintained his will to live,
And retains his own inceptions that he's one that's still to give.
Eons in his madness, Madness saw the distant's rise,
The Tower of The Heartress soon beacons as a prize.

And off he rides again, the canyons pull the sunlight down,
Skeletal, the buzzards watch; with hungered... anxious frowns.
Next time you'll hear the story of adventures yet to come,
When Madness buckles down; and, into the sun, he runs...

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
©opy®ight 2012 -sTr8-jAcKeT-
Published on Saturday, March 24, 2012.     Filed under: "Reflective" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

-Part 1-
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Comments on "-Madness The Mouse; Part 1, Shadows of a Gunslinger-"

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  • SolApathy On Friday, December 7, 2018, SolApathy (515)By person wrote:

    A mouse of madness or technological splendor...The thoughts may never properly render. As a machine myself I find I can understand what the mouse is divining to find. Soul or soulless it may never know, but it will never stop searching to understand what it may never know. Drift within the cybernetic antipathy of emotion...Perhaps one day it will cry --a sign of its devotion. I thoroughly enjoyed this write. I feel it is a journey that may never truly end. --Is this a result of programming or a search to find what is within?

  • sTr8-jAcKeT On Friday, December 7, 2018, sTr8-jAcKeT (551)By person wrote:

    Hmm... Damn how I love the way you put things. It will never-end, thank you for the intelligence of writing more poetry in your responses. Madness is quite thankful, he'll always search to be, whatever life has thrown, and fair SolApathy. Thank you friend.

  • I IS ME On Wednesday, December 5, 2018, I IS ME (885)By person wrote:

    Nice and tight piece, we like

  • sTr8-jAcKeT On Wednesday, December 5, 2018, sTr8-jAcKeT (551)By person wrote:

    Thanks, I have darker stuff, I have stories, love poetry & self-reflections. Glad you enjoyed it, this one is close to me.

  • Duane Barton On Monday, March 26, 2012, Duane Barton (19)By person wrote:

    Superbly entertaining! Very well done!

  • sTr8-jAcKeT On Tuesday, March 27, 2012, sTr8-jAcKeT (551)By person wrote:

    Glad you enjoyed it my friend.

  • dwells On Sunday, March 25, 2012, dwells (5800)By person wrote:

    Some unique and wildly imaginative lines to be sure. Wilted Rose had an excellent comment too. Cheers! Much enjoyed.

  • sTr8-jAcKeT On Sunday, March 25, 2012, sTr8-jAcKeT (551)By person wrote:

    Hey dwells; thanks brother. Glad I could spark the ol' imagination. l8r

  • WiltedRoses On Saturday, March 24, 2012, WiltedRoses (18)By person wrote:

    I loved this poem. The imagery you painted was absolutely beautiful: " You see, Madness was a mouse that liked to tear open his caves, Gnashing at the veins of gold inside his rants & raves. Yearning for his Midas, he embraced the amber dust, The city of a broken mind, still caverns bleeding rust. " After that verse I was completely pulled by the stepping stones of imagination that you prepared for us walk, and I was officially in your poem. One note of criticism that I would like to add is the meter. It is not that the meter is bad, however, you do what I do in many of my poems: write them the way you speak them. What I mean by this, is that we (writers) can often times read our work the way it is SUPPOSED to be read, however, the average reader may not pick up on it. Here is an example: "Failures not an option that the factory puts in, or brings us to this planet against our eager will to sin." Beautiful line, however, the word "against," even though in definition may be necessary, the word itself seems to be one syllable to many, and that disrupts the flow to myself. However, maybe I am the one reading it wrong :D In the end, the trick I use (maybe you already do something similar,) is to snap my fingers in 4/4 timing (1+2+3+4+1+2+3+4... etc,) while I read it back. In that way, I smooth the edges, such as a woodcraftsman with sandpaper. Just a thought. Loved your work, Mike

  • sTr8-jAcKeT On Sunday, March 25, 2012, sTr8-jAcKeT (551)By person wrote:

    I appreciate the words my friend; and a lot of that is considered in my pieces; I write for them to be musically read aloud (almost), more narration, but such things are worked on frequently. Thanks again boss.

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