Thoughts About DP and Reflections

By Demosthenes

it came to me in a vision...
only it didnt

ive finally admitted to myself
that i may never be
one of the great DP legends
like kittygrrl
or cre
or crazy_dave, who makes me smile
and i dont know
if ive accepted that as okay yet
because of my ego you see

and ive come to understand
that i shouldnt write because
i want to be famous here
but because
it makes me feel better
gets the hurt out
expresses my emotions
and all that jazz

and it started that way
and i wrote because
it helped
whatever random conflict i had
and i wrote because
it made me forget
how ugly i was
on the outside
and thank god
it reminded me
how im really kinda pretty
in here
"where it counts"

but then it
stopped

i still write
much as i can
but now
it doesnt stop it from hurting
when i look in the mirror
it only
doubles the ugliness
and spits out my clones
through the keyboard

and now
when everyone is leaving
im only just starting
to notice
that my spacing
has become more and more
like kittys
and slow.burn.stars art
that she pours
around her perfect words
is leaking
into a few of mine

and ive just realized
how much i wish
i had the ability to rhyme a poem
like
cre
and how everytime i write
my stream of unconciousness
wonders if dave will
approve

and as much as the
comment whores
make us all
want to explode
we all
still like
to get a kind word
about anything
because as much as we hate to
admit it
we're still smiling
when the email from the commentbot comes
because the little majigger from
men in black
has erased all the
memories
of nothing

and when i get so off subject
that i slip into
scifi movies
im proud of myself
for letting my mind
wander
away from every morning
when i look
in the mirror
and want to
b r e a k i t
because i just
cant stand
what i see

and i wonder
if ill ever be
as pretty to look at
as i am
to talk to

and dont you understand?
that this is why im
here
because even if they ask
i dont have to tell anyone
my age
and they never have to know
how much i hate my
reflection
or how much i
dont
cry
because its so childish
or how glad i am
to have made
one good friend
who never has to see me
to make me feel beautiful
every time
he says goodbye

and i love how much
the world ignores me
because the world
is a lie
and im here
and the world is
gone
and for once
im breathtaking
and for once
im worth more than a nickel
and for
once
i can say
that
the mirror
IS
broken.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Demosthenes
Published on Saturday, July 12, 2003.     Filed under: "Rant"
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Comments on "Thoughts About DP and Reflections"

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  • stormtalk On Sunday, January 9, 2005, stormtalk (729)By person wrote:

    This work deserves the pages of comments it received - and then some. Popularity is a joke... and I'm always glad to hear someone's living their life how they want to live it. My one fear for you is that you will spend all your time escaping...

  • Im_going_to_cry_now On Monday, November 29, 2004, Im_going_to_cry_now (24)By person wrote:

    wow, this is some of your best work. I feel your pain. Ok, I'm going to go to my room and listen to the Cure and cry, that's how good this is

  • A former member wrote: very nice! So very honest and real ... GB

  • A former member wrote: I can relate. And I'm ashamed to say that it really embedded itself in my organ. - - - Mari

  • urbanhumility On Friday, July 2, 2004, urbanhumility (1175)By person wrote:

    the humility within this poem is so grounding.......truly you are beautiful......urban

  • A former member wrote: The sincerity in this is unreal...something that is hard to find these days...lovely write.

  • A former member wrote: wow, This is amazing, I could never think to write a poem like this, Good write .ds

  • aXe FactoR On Tuesday, June 1, 2004, aXe FactoR (335)By person wrote:

    two words about this: stunning. wow. period. *clicks to favorite*

  • flying_fox On Tuesday, February 17, 2004, flying_fox (573)By person wrote:

    This is sensational work...love the flow, the honesty, your thoughts are so touching. The stanza purr picked is also the one that really got to me. FF

  • purr_verse On Tuesday, February 17, 2004, purr_verse (1059)By person wrote:

    "and i wonder if ill ever be as pretty to look at as i am to talk to" - searing words; so poignant... a beautiful, honest piece that i'm sorry i'd not read before. You were one of the very first to comment on my work: that meant a great deal. :) t

  • purr_verse On Tuesday, February 17, 2004, purr_verse (1059)By person wrote:

    thank you. purr (dang truncation!)

  • A former member wrote: I know, exactly.

  • A former member wrote: out all the new work.I agree with Just...at the end of the day,u made if u have made an impression on somebody else with your work,then that is where the true talent lies,Butterfly..xxx...

  • A former member wrote: I dont understand how it took me so long to stumble across your work!This is incredibly touching,and i tottally understand how this feels.Dp has become very special to me also..and even if i decide not to stay as a member,i will def be comin bac 2 check o

  • A former member wrote: would i talk to you if i didnt love your words. or feel them.

  • A former member wrote: a very nice poem, sad but nice. I agree, DP and the poets that come here all do their own thing yet make others smile - comment whoring and all ;)

  • Six-Out On Tuesday, September 16, 2003, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    I'm not a legend...*cries*

  • Demosthenes On Thursday, September 18, 2003, Demosthenes (155)By person wrote:

    everyone loves you, sixie, but i cant list ALL the great ones. itd take too long. -B

  • Blinded_Tiger On Thursday, September 18, 2003, Blinded_Tiger (518)By person wrote:

    You are legend among crack whore hippies Six *Bowing down*. I wish I could find such a group of fine people to worship me. Until then I will keep clapping *clap-clap* (P.S I bend over for comments)

  • Six-Out On Thursday, September 18, 2003, Six-Out (1435)By person wrote:

    Sweet!

  • Chameleon On Monday, September 15, 2003, Chameleon (111)By person wrote:

    but it is often their persistence in acheiving greatness that eventually makes them what it is...I think you are certainly on that path(=

  • Chameleon On Monday, September 15, 2003, Chameleon (111)By person wrote:

    I'm proud of you for letting your mind wander too, Demos. Your humility and respect in this piece is very touching to the whole DP community. Some of the "greatest" often go unrecognized for long periods of time...

  • Forever Cold On Monday, September 15, 2003, Forever Cold (33)By person wrote:

    Do not seek to be so, for have you ever though that the ones who are so called "great" are only so beacuse others fall blindly behind?

  • Forever Cold On Monday, September 15, 2003, Forever Cold (33)By person wrote:

    write what you feel and it dose not matter how many see it , for if in the end of writeing you feel satified then you are great..the amount of comments on a peice means nothing, all that matters is what is in your heart..

  • urbanhumility On Friday, September 5, 2003, urbanhumility (1175)By person wrote:

    containing much truth and humility, making you most honorable, in my book these are the virtues that hold most respect..........my respect to you ........urban

  • CharlottesWeb On Tuesday, August 26, 2003, CharlottesWeb (511)By person wrote:

    I logged in just to make you smile;) But also to tell you that I remember your handle and recognize it as a favorite. ~shrugs~ It's not immortality...and I'm not the mass, but you've left an impression in my mind and that's talent...and pretty special. So

  • CharlottesWeb On Tuesday, August 26, 2003, CharlottesWeb (511)By person wrote:

    Thankyou for weaving this incredible blanket of heart wrenching truth and sharing. I would never be able to create such a work...and the beauty behind the creation...shines the brightest in this. ~JM~

  • Blood of Winter On Wednesday, July 23, 2003, Blood of Winter (296)By person wrote:

    My god, you hit so many levels here, amazing don't ever think that you work is not as worthwhile as anyone else. I'm working on something for you and velvet right now.

  • Midnight Phoenix On Tuesday, July 22, 2003, Midnight Phoenix (240)By person wrote:

    This piece is incredibly thought-filled. It holds so much truth and irony, that I can't help but notice that I have expanded my reasons for writing because of this site. Excellent excellent rant!

  • GreekPhilosopher On Sunday, July 20, 2003, GreekPhilosopher (156)By person wrote:

    I Love DP Too... Its My Community, Your Community, OUR Community... And Its wHat Seperates Us From The Rest. In My Books You Are Great. So Smile. I Get What You Write And I read, But Comment Very Little. So Know. Every Bit Of Ourselves Are Reflected. So K

  • GreekPhilosopher On Sunday, July 20, 2003, GreekPhilosopher (156)By person wrote:

    So Know. I Love This Peice. So Thanks. GPhD.

  • A former member wrote: This is great...I love your work I think its great..

  • A Velvet Tongue On Tuesday, July 15, 2003, A Velvet Tongue (436)By person wrote:

    I love this piece hun. Yes, alot of the older ones are great, yet, there are always good ones approaching too, it is important for us to keep our eyes upon new poets here too. Talent is everywhere around us. Tht is what makes it special.love ya hun.~Vel~

  • Ophelia On Saturday, July 12, 2003, Ophelia (221)By person wrote:

    I am glad I found this place too. I kind of fit in here. The only thing we all have in common is we are all different and we all love to write. I may not comment all the time but I read it all.....O.

  • cre On Saturday, July 12, 2003, cre (411)By person wrote:

    I really very much like this write . . . DP has grown into something so much more than special for me. My life has been indelibly changed for my having been here . . . and because of all of the rest of you who are here. You have your own unique style of w

  • A former member wrote: Very Touching, i aggree with cre, Dp is very special to me as well, Dp gives me a tangible feeling of gratification, and appreciation when i recieve comments on my work. You must be a great writer to be able to open up like you did in this work

  • cre On Saturday, July 12, 2003, cre (411)By person wrote:

    writing and it is a beautiful thing. By the way, I love your profile story.

  • IceDragoness On Saturday, July 12, 2003, IceDragoness (195)By person wrote:

    *gets to thinking that she might be a 'comment whore' uh oh* i definately think you should keep writing though, for what it's worth.. ~Dawn

  • A former member wrote: COMMENT WHORE! I LURVE THIS ONE WITH A BURNING PASSION!!!!!!

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