The Day That Changed My Life Forever

By ColorMeToxic

The Day That Changed My Life Forever


 The day was 13, July 1989. It was a hot day, a lazy and humid day. I was barely 5 then, and my brother was 6. My parents had made plans to go swimming with their band mates, my aunt, my brother, and my self. Little did us kids know that would be the last day we would address someone as "Daddy". 

 The place they chose was the sandbar at Broad River, in Union S.C. It was beautiful out there, but the currents were stronger than had been anticipated. Not as many people showed as was planned. My aunt was not there, come to find out later, she had called and asked for my mother to wait on her before going ahead to the river...my mother didn't wait. Only one band member showed, with his girl friend and his two kids.

Everything was great, we were having fun...

 Next thing I hear is, "I'm going out to test the water for the kids"...the voice was my father's. I watched him as he started out to the deeper waters, and then in a flash everything changed. My mother started ushering us kids to her car, it was a station wagon. I remember the other kids saying their daddy was dying...in reality my daddy was about to die.

There were a lot of screams, and frantic running. My mother was trying to keep us from seeing what was going on. I didn't understand that, because he was fine, when I last looked...

My mother almost crashed the car trying to get away from the scene. 

 The next thing I remember is Red. The color red. I presume it was the lights of the ambulance, but it stuck for some reason. A bright red river bank, forever etched into my memory.

 I remember hearing "We had to go two miles down stream to find the BODY"...THAT damaged my psyche. My Daddy was not a body...he was a man. And I was far too young to understand. 

 At the funeral it was surreal, everyone was crying...the casket was open with my Father inside in his military uniform. My uncle had knelt down beside it  and was openly sobbing while hugging my brother and I, and saying how much he loved us both. 
 

 I looked at him and said "My Daddy is asleep in that box, why won't he wake up?"
My fragile little mind could not grasp the concept of a sleep you can never wake from.

 Free Bird blasted from a car stereo in the cemetery. An American Flag as draped over his casket, which  hovered just above the hole it would forever rest in. There were soldiers standing at attention with guns in the air ready to give his farewell salute. That is a sound I will never forget. 

But...

As always life goes on...

 
 For weeks I heard whispers and saw paranoid looks that I just could not understand. I heard that when they pulled my Daddy from that river he had a footprint on his chest in a size 13. I also heard his neck had marks where fingers had been pressed a little too hard and for a little too long...



 I know the details are locked somewhere inside this dysfunctional mind of mine. 
I ask my self all the time, would I really WANT to remember more than what I already do?

Honestly, I don't know...would you?



Even I don't know my secrets.
 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2015 Beth Greene
Published on Sunday, November 1, 2015.     Filed under: "Personal" and "Graphic Art"

Author's Note:

I appreciate those of you who will have the patience to read this.
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Comments on "The Day That Changed My Life Forever"

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  • Cassette On Wednesday, December 27, 2017, Cassette (1144)By person wrote:

    excellent .......

  • A former member wrote: Damn, that's heavy. I'm so sorry that happened no one should have to experience that kind of pain, that kind of horror, and that kind of sorrow. Again I'm sorry-Mrk

  • ColorMeToxic On Saturday, November 21, 2015, ColorMeToxic (240)By person wrote:

    Thank you. It will be ok pretty soon...I got his murder case reopened...with any luck, the missing pieces will then be there and I can really begin the healing process. Thanks for reading. Scholar

  • rwb35 On Sunday, October 25, 2015, rwb35 (64)By person wrote:

    Damn, this is heavy. An excellent write, so deeply personal.

  • Melancholic VIncent On Wednesday, August 22, 2012, Melancholic VIncent (431)By person wrote:

    Tragic moments happen in mere seconds. I had a traumatic event myself at age of 4 myself, though for some reason I can't remember a thing, maybe because I fell in coma, I have no idea. But maybe it's for the best, still I worked so hard in my mind to know what a hell happened that I have images in my head that are merely imagined. Brother died but I guess everything changed from that point forward. I can't answer if things would be different if that accident didn't happen. But it's scary how these moments mark us forever and define us as we are today. It's haunting, as it is your story. Few people have the capacity to understand the magnitude of this kind of events.... Sometimes I wonder, would it be better to trade seat with my brother? Would he be doing better than I am doing with my life? It's that kind of stupid, bizarre, masochistic hypothetical questions we do to ourselves that are just pointless. It's unavoidable to look at others pacific lives and not bitterly envy them. I could go on with this forever but i'll stop now...

  • Gray Vision On Monday, March 26, 2012, Gray Vision (425)By person wrote:

    After reading this, I re-read the part where they pulled your dad from the river a few times to try to make sense of the impressions they found on his body. I don't know if someone stepped on him and then tried to revive him or something along those line which was why he had the finger impressions in his neck and such. I remember witnessing death for the first time myself and I was young then too like you and didn't understand what was happening. There was one in particular that I remember vividly, that happened when I was seven years old. My neighbor scared one of his cousins from jumping out behind a tree, and the boy ran out into the road and got ran over by a car. I can't even begin to understand what that was like, I haven't lost my dad yet, but I know it will happen. That's just a part of life everyone has to face. Thank you for sharing this with us, I'm sure it took a lot out of you to try and relive the event in order to write this.

  • A former member wrote: I will die, deep inside when my parents pass. Le sigh... why does death have to be a part of our lives.

  • darkness falls On Saturday, November 26, 2011, darkness falls (73)By person wrote:

    Took a lot of courage to put it in to words for others to see. Sorry for your loss, I know where you're coming from.

  • Devilish On Friday, November 11, 2011, Devilish (2662)By person wrote:

    Oh baby... My so sorry... I don't even know how to comment.... i'm a lil teary eyed... I'll have to get back to you... Scholar

  • mvvenkataraman On Friday, November 11, 2011, mvvenkataraman (13)By person wrote:

    Dear respected ColorMeToxic ~, Your story shatters my peace, I feel extremely sorry for you, God alone must give solace, Please accept my sympathy, Pray to your God and appeal, Only prayer can solve worry, I will surely chant a prayer, To give you a calm mind. Yours prayerfully, mvvenkataraman

  • dwells On Friday, November 11, 2011, dwells (4288)By person wrote:

    Parents sometimes keep secrets to protect the kids, but occasionally do more damage by adding to the confusion. Sounds to me like you are old enough to know the truth now - and also old enough to realize that it is optional. Best wishes.

  • lupus tenebrae On Friday, November 11, 2011, lupus tenebrae (872)By person wrote:

    When I was a child, my father used to have it in his mind that I was none the wiser to my mother's death. True that I had no concept of death, but I knew that my mother was gone from my life. I didn't know, what grieving was, so I only held a continual bitterness that no child should have. I know that murder is a different situation altogether, but know that I sympathize with your plight at its base form, loss. I appreciate you for sharing this. Scholar

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