By Recycled

I was cruising the information superhighway.
My new Dell model 8300 was doing a sweet buck 20,
When I got off exit 0101 instead of 01011.
I quickly found myself in a seedy part of cyberspace.
The part occupied by the Dark Poetry gang.
I immediately braced myself for trouble.
One rough looking individual approached me asking,
"Yo man, you lost?"
"I seem to be a little misplaced. Could you help me out?"
"Ya, I can help you out. Whatcha gonna do for me?" He asked
"Whatever I can." I replied
"Great, I've got some new writes and I want your thoughts on them."
"Alright then. Let's have a look."
His stuff was total smut.
If I hadn't needed directions out of there,
I would have told him so.
Instead, I lied.
"This is a great write. Full of emotion. Keep posting."
I could tell by the glint in his eye,
This comment whore had just received his fix.
I asked my "new friend" with a properly inflated ego,
"So, can you give me directions out of here?"
"Yeah, yeah." He said with a far away look in his eyes.
"Just go down two blocks and take a left."
At the first block, I pass a saucy little number leaning against a wall.
She gives me a once over before asking,
"Hey sugar. Care to give me some comments?"
"Ah no. Maybe later, after I see what you have to offer."
"Trust me baby. I got the good stuff. I always return the favor."
"That's enough you whore! I'm not here to emotionally support you."
A little rough, I know.
But you can't let a comment whore catch you with your pants down.
She'll suck all day for a two bit comment.
When I reach the corner, I spot a disheveled man.
He is sitting in an alley. He calls out,
"'Cuse me sir. Might you have a kind comment or two for a poor writer?"
Ah, the need strikes the young and the old.
"Let's see what you have." I say
It takes but a moment to briefly scan the work.
Full of errors and misused words.
If he wasn't so decrepit, I'd tell him so.
"Wow man. This is really wonderful. It touched me."
"Really? Thank you!"
So I lied! It's not like I'll ever see him again.
I should have stayed in the instant messenger neighborhood.
As I pass a quickie mart, a woman stumbles out.
She is juggling 3 bags of groceries and towing a kid.
"Hey you!" She calls out to me "Could you spare me a comment?"
"I am in a bit of a hurry." I reply
"Fuck you then." She retorts
Comment withdrawal, never a pretty sight.
I quicken my pace. Shouting from behind stops me.
A guy frantically waving, approaches me.
Oh no. The first guy again.
"Hey man. I just finished a new poem. Read it!"
"You again? I'm not your fixer, leave me alone."
The look in his eye would draw sympathy from Saddam.
I am about to give in to the addict when a pimped-out ride approaches.
The license plate says: COMENTZ
The world's smallest billboard.
The guy in front of me rushes over to the rolled down window.
Someone in the car says, "I hear you're looking for some comments."
"Yeah, I just finished a new piece. Check it out."
It takes the driver a couple of minutes to pretend to read it.
"This is really good stuff. Keep it up."
The comment whore collapses.
Basking in some unseen afterglow.
WOW! A two-comment overdose. That guy was SICK.
My head is starting to spin from the oppressive emotional needs.
I toss a few worthless comments to the passersby as I make my way out.
Comment whores devour them before they bounce twice.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Recycled
Published on Tuesday, July 1, 2003.     Filed under: "Rant"
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Comments on "Whores"

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More comments: continue
  • carlosjackal On Monday, March 27, 2017, carlosjackal (2468)By person wrote:

    Brilliant and witty.....And still true to this day.

  • Drea On Tuesday, November 22, 2016, Drea (1521)By person wrote:

    i miss you. :(

  • Selenophile On Sunday, May 15, 2016, Selenophile (30)By person wrote:

    I like it.

  • Noel Haiasi On Wednesday, February 24, 2016, Noel Haiasi (50)By person wrote:

    If I was not in class I would have burst into fits of laughter. It is not only funny, but true.

  • A former member wrote: haha ilove this.. its the truth i've delt with so many comment whores its a shame smh great work ;)

  • Devilish On Thursday, June 16, 2011, Devilish (3797)By person wrote:

    Fuck yeah!!! Too bad this cant post on front page for all eyes to see... Scholar

  • wolveshepherd On Sunday, April 25, 2010, wolveshepherd (4)By person wrote:

    awesome. i hope i can match it someday.

  • Miztaken4beauty On Tuesday, April 13, 2010, Miztaken4beauty (206)By person wrote:

    That's Great.

  • A former member wrote: Haha this is very funny. :]

  • idiosyncratic On Tuesday, April 13, 2010, idiosyncratic (131)By person wrote:

    this peice made me smile! i will not comment on things i dont like. i think the work should speak for itself and this one sure as hell does!!

  • A former member wrote: so sad... but so very true! at your service, GB

  • A former member wrote: lmao... excellent allegory here, soo damned true sometimes I think it's as scary as it is sad. Nice work! *hikes up pant's leg* lol... just one fix, c'mon... fun fucking read.

  • The Dybbuk On Friday, June 15, 2012, The Dybbuk (1123)By person wrote:

    what this guy said

  • ToxicLove On Monday, July 28, 2008, ToxicLove (42)By person wrote:

    haha.. this was a great write.. I loved it.. even made me book mark you as a favorite... and share this with my daughter who is also a member here on DP... you will forever be a hero for this piece...

  • The Lipstick Factor On Thursday, May 15, 2008, The Lipstick Factor (295)By person wrote:

    Okay...you win..*lol*..This was fun!

  • A former member wrote: (No comment)

  • Mari On Saturday, June 2, 2007, Mari (427)By person wrote:

    FUNNY!!! :)

  • Spiked Tongue On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, Spiked Tongue (23)By person wrote:

    This really is awsome. You got so many comments for writing this so.. if that was your point - good job *wink*

  • HalfDarkAngel On Thursday, November 16, 2006, HalfDarkAngel (60)By person wrote:

    ha this reminds me of people on myspace.

  • Father_Faust On Thursday, July 20, 2006, Father_Faust (8)By person wrote:

    good way to sum up some sick souls

  • A former member wrote: omg I absolutely loved this. I'll admit that I myself happen to be a comment whore- it really has the best fix :p

  • A former member wrote: /But/ I only comment if I really do have something to say. Good or bad, I try not to have empty words.

  • A former member wrote: ah yes... this picture. i know it well

  • Blinded_Tiger On Wednesday, August 4, 2004, Blinded_Tiger (532)By person wrote:

    Still I see many being blind in trying to summon the soul of reality in there attempts to create fictional dark poetry. That burp seem to come with a taste all the more bitter, as I watch tribute being paid where it is not needed.

  • Blinded_Tiger On Wednesday, August 4, 2004, Blinded_Tiger (532)By person wrote:

    ... And lack where it should come in plenty ... By that my words should stop quickly here to heed the advise this spawn in my mind with a laugh. -Nadir-

  • Mr King On Monday, December 22, 2003, Mr King (548)By person wrote:

    my self-absorbed egotistical obsession with my own work is revealed by this... thank you... the true essence of a dark poetry poet, however, i now see again is often not in his/her own work, but in the authenticity and depth of his/her comments!

  • Mr King On Monday, December 22, 2003, Mr King (548)By person wrote:

    if i'm not really reading fully and truthfully spending the time required to put my mind into the comment then i'm not being authentic and have selfish alterior (aka read my poetry) motives!

  • Mr King On Monday, December 22, 2003, Mr King (548)By person wrote:

    escape from my own i-land... thank you for helping to set the prisoners, like me, free... 1WORLD 1PEOPLE 1PEACE, CV

  • unusual_blood On Monday, December 22, 2003, unusual_blood (83)By person wrote:

    is a poem. Haha brilliant peice .. love it. THIS is going on my favorates :)

  • A former member wrote: ah dude..this was sweet.Thank you for finally educating me on exactly wot a comment whore actually is...once again i must thank drea for sending me to ur work.Awesome...poem prostitution as bast put it,lolol,Butterfly..xxx...

  • unusual_blood On Monday, December 22, 2003, unusual_blood (83)By person wrote:

    HAHA aww brian you kick ass, this is awseome. i wish i could take something like comment whores and turn it into an original, true, AND funny poem. I wish I had read this poem earlier. See now THIS

  • A former member wrote: *Hesitates to comment* I like the way youve taken a situation and turned it into a dimension. Creative write.

  • Drea On Sunday, November 23, 2003, Drea (1521)By person wrote:

    ok i have to be honest..this was the first thing i read when i got to dp. i just never commented..lol.. i have read this i would say...20 or 30 times since then. it has the same effect on me each time. now, i comment. :P ~Drea~

  • Methos On Wednesday, November 19, 2003, Methos (125)By person wrote:

    Very interesting perspective!! Superb write!! ----Methos

  • Loserland On Saturday, October 18, 2003, Loserland (113)By person wrote:

    this kicks ass

  • The Fallen Angel On Tuesday, September 2, 2003, The Fallen Angel (245)By person wrote:

    lol...well i just don't comment if it doesn't interest me. Bitter but truthful write!+Fallen Angel+

  • IceDragoness On Sunday, August 31, 2003, IceDragoness (201)By person wrote:

    this is definately hilarious, i re-read it because laughing started to blur my vision about halfway through ~Dawn

  • A former member wrote: hahaha. how true how true.

  • finaldestiny On Thursday, August 14, 2003, finaldestiny (77)By person wrote:

    hahaha now this is true comedy!! greatness, my props!

  • Clementine On Saturday, August 2, 2003, Clementine (123)By person wrote:

    my kinda sauce

  • Stranger On Monday, July 28, 2003, Stranger (273)By person wrote:

    Solid entertainment.

  • diavolessa On Monday, July 28, 2003, diavolessa (225)By person wrote:

    this was amazingly enjoyable! okay okay this was hilarious! *big nonstop smile*

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