heartburst under bright lights

disjointed
with a heavy feeling
left under my breasts
the gnawing feeling of
longing lingers
within the chambers
of my stomach
the world hurts
when i don't see you
my eyes are blinded by
the bright lights
and i can't see your smile
it's gone
and all i can do is weep
and moan
but you aren't coming,
you haven't come,
back
and i miss you
like i've never missed
anyone before now
and the image i have
in my mind of your smile
tears what's left of
my heart to pieces
because i want you
but you'll never want me
and you won't tell me,
like a hidden secret,
why,
you'll never tell me why
and i've run out of
people to talk to.


the lights are too bright
you're no longer here to
shade my eyes
and i miss you
miss you so much
my heart has burst
and everytime i think of
everything
another part of my heart
withers and dies
like flowers caught
the in the path of
a wildfire,
blackened and dry.


i imagined us
as long-limbed dancers
dancing to a melody
filled with carefree
beauty and tender
emotions, but
i was evidently
mistaken when you threw my
everything back into my face
with a look of disgust on
your previously smiling face.


i still love you