I Don't Know Anymore

Every time I see you
My heart quickens,
In my futile attempts to draw near
The further away I appear.
Approaching you,
Shares an uncanny resemblance and effect,
To that of sinking,
Helplessly descending
To the depths of the deepest ocean
Despite what I do,
I keep sinking,
And with every passing moment
The pressure is amplified,
Until it becomes too much
So much so
That I lose myself in the moment,
I drown in your presence
Every time,
Even though I know it’s coming,
I still do,
My words escape me
In both the best and worst of times,
I constantly make a fool of myself,
But for you
I know in my heart of hearts
That it’s worth it,
A future with you at this point
Seems bleak,
Now as you’re with someone else.
It’s weird to me,
But as long as you’re happy
My weary mind can remain free of worry,
After all,
That’s all that I’ve ever wanted
For your sake, not for mine.
My only regret leading up to this point,
Is simply not knowing,
How,
To be selfish.